Saturday, 17 March 2012

Isolation day 8

Did I already mention how thrilled I am that the task of possibly months to get the pup to walk has taken less than a week more so that he is healthy? jumping around , cheeky as fuck and all that? because I am and they are both cute as fuck! shame that it means new homes are to be found for them soon, maybe wait till Sophie is a bit stockier she would currently make a very cute bag dog, yes yes I  have been going on and on and on about the dogs lately, they do occupy a fair bit of time what with the new mission of trying to semi potty train them and all.

Yesterday after waking up I felt " this is a day to get some work done" and I did start on part 1/15 of the project it was going quite well till it occurred to my brilliant brain that the woman involved should not look German or have the bulk of a man sooo it is being restarted.

found a few loopholes (or flaws in my opinion )with the hole isolation theme, see I am encouraged to meet new people if I want even through chat which is fine however what difference does it make wither they are new or old since in chat I mostly get called by my id rather than my name , so ignore anyone who uses my name and talk to anyone who uses my id? sure brilliant plan! xcept for the fact it is a loophole I don't like , after 8 days of barely communicating with anyone I have come to the conclusion that I am still the same man that started this or to be specific agreed to this 8 days ago with the exception of more of my time and affection is going towards the puppies.

not bad for a friendly monster that does not know how to express emotions apparently, but the thing is are all our emotions supposed to be expressed? yes I'm very bad with expressing anger  but that is somewhat a good thing you see when I decide it is time to express anger( see how Awesome I am I control my emotions and decide when to unleash them!) it means the person truly deserves the wrath they are going to get or it is someone that will be getting a piece of my mind and informed to Fuck off because they do not deserve to be in my life.

I need a nap

Perhaps I am learning a bit of self worth or self value whatever you want to call it, not just anyone deserves to be a  part of your life, or is that just the picky side of me talking? or or or! maybe it is a new defense mechanism to keep people away? or perhaps it is the sane way to keep good people in your life as oppose to joy succubi ( i was inclined to write succubuses it sounded cooler ) and people who bring you down.

who knows?

I'd also make a horrible Father figure because I am very bad with discipline, for a man with no feelings I am pretty soft , but its ok it means i get to wrestle more with the pups!

no seriously I am going to nap now since I am not in the mood to binge on chocolate or vegetables , and there is a temptation to get a military hair cut that one must fight, all the spontaneous extra shooting is putting my brain in ninja mode since my balcony is a perfect sniper location ( perhaps I may have been over indulging in Call of duty just a little bit?)

I have reason to believe my therapist might be a bit loopy , since she keeps creating things that are different about me every time she see's her i told her blatantly the only thing that is different about me is that I stopped taking the meds and maybe just maybe your different? she accepted the possibility perhaps i was a bit patronizing but when I behave the same talk the same and so on and the very few people that I do get to talk to do not notice a change either, then it is her or that is how my brain logically perceives it.

So tomorrow there might be a final french exam and of course the inclination to study or revise for it is currently still on snooze mode.

I also have the urge to do something that may be considered stupid right now, but instead I got some work done.

bon noit mon amies! ( assuming that is how plurify yes yes i know that is not a word, but as i was saying assuming that is the plural version of the word amie )

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