By God I have so much blog reading to catch up on !!!

So apparently  I may be back to this if I manage to find the time and mental capacity to write anything that is , the reason I am back is well it was requested of me , well ok no that isn't the real reason although it is true!!

I was in town with friends yesterday after having lunch at the Brazilian restaurant one of them told us of a magical shop that has just opened, this shop is capable of temporarily restoring youth , now its not like we needed that however! we decided to head there for desert . it was a pick and mix shop right in the middle of town!!! called Mollie's if I  am not mistaken and it just took me back to the days where I would be walking from school and managed to convince my mother to let me get a snake candy or those cola bottles , my most important finding of the day was GUMMY BEARS!!! which did not survive the journey home sadly.
it has been agreed that prior to seeing the Hobbit on Friday we will be getting more GUMMY BEARS!!!wooohooo , oh and guess what they are sugar free!

now that that is out of the way i can tell you the second best part of the last 24 hours , I have decided to adopt/rescue/buy ( not too sure on abduct just yet ) a baby squirrel!



The End :)

bubbles

I just realized that i have A LOT!! of blogs to catch up on , sorry folks ill get to it asap kinda , so after many many fights on the phone within the last 24 hours my wireless headsets have finally arrived YAY! but you see that is not why I am really YAYing, i am sooo enthusiastic about the arrival after opening it up because they were engulfed in a ridiculous amount of BUBBLE WRAP!!! oh i love bubble wrap you would think I out grew the love but no i haven't so there i have admitted it

I am a big baby and i LOVE bubble wrap !

I should be sad but I am not, working out at 10:30 lifts the spirits and I had a nice talk with Joy and Marie that set my head straight somewhat so at least I have some direction now and not sulking or moping.

Something soooo wrong is happening.... I am enjoying the workouts! now it may have something slightly to do with my trainer not knowing just how tight her clothes are ( i think she knows ) oh don't judge me i'm a man! but I do feel more pumped after working out so I will need to find a gym next week as soon as I leave this forsaken land .

I talked to Grant today for the first time who is a friend of a friend that needed some cheering up and I think i just made a new guy friend yay! I need more guy friends they create a balance somewhat, and I need to stay away from women a lil bit whilst I get back on my feet.

Now would anyone mind if I talked about absolute nonsense in My blog ? no? awesome didn't think you would mind, i need to get back in to the habit of blogging everyday because i am required to email somebody every day ( work not pleasure) for a while ... guess its karma as it is something i would ask somebody to do too ..


Have a good day !

Over and out

Father's day

I was told that when I was born I didn't open my eyes until I was in my father's arms , The first person to whisper in my ear was my father, My first word was some variation of Dad if I am not mistaken and I would not be surprised if the first steps I took were towards my father.

I remember my father singing me to sleep in Italian as a child also singing songs that are probably of his own making, My first horse ride was my father's knee that always put a smile on my face , whenever i got a scar  or scraped my knee arm ankle leg wrist you get the gist of it and like any other child would resist cologne he would sit me down and calm me down ever so gently and put the cologne on whilst blowing on it at the same time so it doesn't hurt at all and of course it never did hurt.

I remember once a wardrobe fell on me and I was stuck under it it wasn't particularly big but i kinda was little although it was my mother that saved me from it , my father comforted me and we sat watching football, he introduced me to football I remember watching the world cup with him as a child and of course Imitating any goofy dance any Brazilian would do when they score or anything silly really .

My father taught me to be kind he taught me that it wasn't weakness , he taught me that strength isn't in raising your voice or showcasing your muscle's, he taught me the importance of education and of using your brain , he has shown me how intelligence is both a blessing and a curse, also the importance of at least trying to clean up after my self.

I think my love for animals especially Dogs and to be exact black coat German shepherds comes from my father, as does my love for classic music even though he makes fun of me nowadays saying i talk like Sinatra!( I don't honest I dont!)

He was my first best friend the first person I trusted and the only person I can not even fathom the idea of not having in my life .

Ever since I was a lil kid my dad was the person I wanted to be when I grew up ,and even now when I am all grown up and I know most his flaws and realize there is a lot of editing for me to do i know that  if I am ever in the situation to be a step father I hope i can be even half the dad he is.

Happy Father's day to all you real dad's out there 

Sooooo I think I need to start blogging again, more positive crazy silly stuff would be a good idea, I'm thinking for July I am going to try and find something inspiring per day to write about or something happyish?if you have any other ideas do please let me know!

I get out of this hell hole next week YAY!! despite all the extra tedious shit I have had to deal with the last few weeks I think I have to admit I have a decent amount of Joy and good friends in my life so I am grateful, but for some reason for the last couple of weeks I have been emotionally numb and today the last crack of emotions have been sealed because frankly being the nice guy isn't working any more but no bother!

I am finding my passion for music again sooo I am practicing it would be awesome if you could suggest some songs for me to practice ... because it is well known that you guys are pretty awesometastic.

I am not on facebook so if you message my facebook and don't get a reply then sorry , you are not being ignored  ,facebook and me are just on a break right now but if you have my facebook then you  know other methods of communicating with me which you could go for it.

Once upon a time is AMAZING and I fully plan on abducting Regina before she get's her magic back just thought I would throw that out to the universe.

Have a good day!

So it occurred to me as you already all know that Strangers give the Best advice, they don't know the people, they are objective, many will not sympathize so you shut up and leave them alone ...


Why don't we have a comedy show about strangers giving the best advice?

Do you ever get tired of being the good guy or well girl in some of your cases, I am tired of being the good guy that is going to wait and do the right thing, say the right words, take the time needed, bite my tongue , sacrifice my mental and emotional well being ..... do you ever feel it all does not work regardless of just how good you try to be you are still the bad guy or in some cases being the nice guy is scary enough ....

I'm tired of being the good guy, any villains giving out lessons by any chance?  

As I am distancing myself from things i love chocolate being one of the things i find my self more care less and not inspired in the slightest, what inspires you ?

You know something I am still finding that elephant adorably amazing! although it reminded me that I have never been on a trampoline see to truly enjoy a trampoline you have to seize the moment be care free truly enjoy it inside you which includes for those few seconds losing control or forgetting it temporarily just in case the word losing triggers some bad emotional reaction also known as traumatic memory or something

My problem is that I have an analytic brain as we all know by now in combat in a lab in anything work related that is not necessarily bad in most cases actually it is a good thing, however when that is applied to life outside of work it is not a good thing perhaps i am too much in control granted that means i am very guarded ( to an extent) even though  instead the impression that i am uptight or a goody two shoes ( i am very far from it but there is old fashion-ism carved in me ) is given , i am realizing how this effects me trying to enjoy the moment I can't enjoy the moment because I am planning for another moment which most likely means when that moment comes I will be bombarded with what if's and many other questions and so i will be planning for another moment soooooo as my walls ( yes this applies to your walls too ) keep the bad stuff mostly out they also keep the good stuff out .

After all wither it is a box of your belongings sent back to you from someone you loved dearly which pretty much is considered an emotional bomb or if its a crate of boxes of girl scout cookies left at your door , the door needs to be opened , sadly in life there are no peeping holes to view what is waiting if you do or don't do something and yes surprises are not always good , but i think its time to stop planning for a little bit and try to enjoy this moment and the next although i know for a fact they are not pleasant and will continue to be unpleasant  it does not mean i can not create a tiny bit of awesomeness out of it don't you think?

for example today my friend was asking me to choose between 2 names with her followed by nothing short of jumping out of the screen and threatening me if i do not show up for the birth of my niece bubbles ( Tianna) in October , honestly its like female members of the family can smell other plans months away! considering we do not see each other often although we only live a couple of hours away from each other its good to know that although you are absent people still consider you family , i know i know for a family man im not doing that good of a job ! but hey we are all mature students trying to get our degree in different cities .

Life is full of surprises embrace the joy each little surprise brings

ok I could not help but share this it is pure concentrated Awesomeness !

I just can't stop looking at it !

not an interesting blog

Sullivan and Gilbert are staying and are not going to cause any trouble yay! no brainish surgery :D and Fred is lazy so it is not an urgent case and can be done at home .... and of course all this is not settling nicely with the therapist because it screws up what she thought was a break through in her research , better yet when i see her i get to bask in the glory of "I TOLD YOU SO"ness c'mon don't deny it we all love that kind of glory ! and if you don't well you are surely missing out.

Well that is my good news for today i am fine i will be living with 2 of the 3 and we have agreed not to harm each other so far, i seem to be losing weight which i am happy with ! these drugs make me want to sleep allll the time thankfully work is preventing me from doing that and work seems to be picking up ( YAY!)

I am attempting to balance out my life and of course misreading signs from the universe ( i believe it sends us signs i may be crazy but its ok ) i am not mentioning the signs i got because it is most likely nothing more than wishful thinking but i will consider them as a reminder to stick to the goal because perhaps fate is involved? who knows , looking forward to MIB 3 on Wednesday at least I think it is on Wednesday because if it isn't there are no guarantee's i will not go in to watch the avengers for a third time .

So today I will start hunting down shoes and start gift shopping , figured there is no reason why i should not take my leisure with gift shopping my dilemma is I am  not entirely sure who should get a gift and who shouldn't of course it is also my baby boy's birthday next week and I am clueless what to get him, what do you get a child that has everything? perhaps a tree to climb or a ticket to disneyland france?

Me being a whiny sooky sod

So 10 days ago I had my Facebook password changed to something I do not know because .......Soooooo I decided to temporarily stay away from Facebook since I have to figure out how Sullivan and Gilbert are going to be dealt with I have to continue arguing with my therapist ( that has now taking to hugging me every session which i find odd) about yes i do not know anything but in this case i am right you are wrong accept it get over it and move on .... she is trying to convince me to have surgery next week to have Fred removed , Fred is the latest and biggest finding .... my therapist literally told me to relax just relax because stress is not good for tumors and i just gave her a " is that so ? what the fuck do you think brought these on then! " considering she knows my family situation and that they pretty much are like a nuclear explosion of stress no matter how well they at times mean.

So of course I am being a stubborn arse and saying no, I will not have surgery at this godforsaken country and if i am given a headache about the whole thing i will refuse surgery all together it is not a life or death situation i do not like the fuss and drama involved with the whole procedure and I am a big boy I can handle a tumor or 3.

I understand that this is considered irresponsible if one of my friends was in the position i would show up and nag them to death , but I comprehend all the risks and factors ( despite my family thinking that i just think i am smarter than everybody ) and to be honest right now i am in no hurry when i get home ill get it sorted if it is not sorted by September/October it can wait till after because I am beyond excited about my trip and it takes priority .

also it is not fun finding out you have a Fred whilst you are trying to lose 40 lb in 6 weeks because it means no comfort food no chocolate no pizza no ice cream no hearing her voice damn my pride!no lollipops just dealing with it like a man ( which i am doing rather well I feel absolutely fine my lack of worry is concerning ) but it is a good excuse to whine about lack of pizza and such don't you think? cmon you would do the same!

and the sympathetic treatment im getting from the therapist and family members is starting to piss me off also , any ideas on how to turn that off without being completely rude?

Thanks for reading, I hope you are all ok 

Do you know something I truly dislike ? besides flies  and not enough cake of course ... I dislike being manipulated and guilt tripped I have enough of a complex feeling that I do not do enough and for some reason there is the belief that there is a reasonable amount of guilt that the world is not as it should be or well things that happen with my people my friends my family things that I wish i could help with I have enough anger about not being able to change these things ( which are as simple as somebody going to bed hungry because they were too tired to go grocery shopping or someone not being able to see their kids because their ex he/she is an arse) so attempts to manipulate me using God religion and good will is very very very not nice especially since i have pretty much done everything for everyone my entire life. and luring me with positions money and fancy cars of course with fancy residence too is not a good idea anybody that knows me well enough knows i mostly use all those for others more than for myself so I am a bit confused i suppose.

On to something else! I made cookies real live cookies like those ones on tv or cook books! yes they were not chewy yes i burnt one of the batches however!! they all tasted cookie like! they not only looked like cookies but they TASTED!!!amazing and amazingly like cookies! i am so proud of myself you can start making requests that is how proud , granted they will not get to you because of course one has to taste a cookie from each batch to make sure it tastes good and well then one thing will lead to the other and they will move to my intestines but no bother it is the thought that matters!

I am back in Egypt and not particularly liking it did i mention I went to see my friend who was in Minnesota again ?she is such a sweet girl and her entire family came to say hello to me in fact her father called me a "loyal friend " maybe ill have fun during July - August who knows , I got an update picture of Jack and Sophie who are now named lola and something else they are getting big and look clean and well here look for yourself!

I would say getting big but right now it looks like they are getting tall instead

I am feeling weird for the last 2 weeks it is as if i am slowly detaching from everyone and closing in on myself if that makes self I truly have no desire to talk to anyone and the one person I wish to talk to well my pride got involved about a week ago and you know the rest of the story she has enough on her plate and probably would not talk to me anyway so its ok , my pharmacist friend notified me that all the medication i am on ( that is a bit dramatic they are only 3 ) are all addictive yay me im being made addicted to anti psychotic drugs that do not even work on me that only give the side effects! I am going to examine Sullivan and Gilbert later on tonight try to get to know them they are the lesions ( did i say that right?) in my pituitary assuming I can tell what is what .

I found an old pair of jeans that is a bit big for me and decided to cut it in to shorts, needless to say that is currently my favorite item of clothing .

Today Today Today...

Today has been a loooong day tomorrow will also be a looooong day due to the delays that happened today which will occur tomorrow  of course, and of course this does not make me happy because 3 days of screwed plans gives me a frownie face.

Out of frustration I made cookies that actually looked like real cookies I impresse dmyself infact I impressed myself so much I burnt a batch of them ( which were still eaten ).

Today is Mother's day again and all I can think of due to a technical difficulty I am facing that is also causing me a 48 hour delay that I strongly dislike , so all i can think of is mother's get 2 days there are 2 mother's days

I have a lot more to say on the Subject of mother's day and mothers but I will wait till Tuesday or so to do that so Thank you for your patience and have a Happy mother's day even if you are a father or an uncle or a step parent or godparent!

To begin with I was going to say I am tired only to find that it is an understatement .

I am beyond tired and loving it! 

And I should be departing for  the airport in 5.5 hours I hate this be at the airport 2 hours ahead of time malarkey , I like coming 45 minutes before the flight is because everyone else was there 2 hours ahead of time and finding the check in line empty then browsing quickly through duty free only to get a chicken sandwich from boots ( that is a lil ritual when leaving from the uk ) looking at the books then be in time for the last or pre last call to the flight! it so rocks.

anyway I should go drive then get a shower have fun and be safe people!

You know the best time to drive is on a weekend morning when everybody is in bed , ah the glory! however I have noted a problem besides that that car I was driving was an automatic that is ....I was thinking  and of course throughout the morning I was lost in  thoughts on and off , i noticed the speed limit was 60 and then that i was doing 120 at the time which did not strike me as a good sign but it felt so so so goooood and then someone was teasing me with his speeds so it went up to 130 then 140 and up to 160 when he passed me because his car was newer and a manual i forgot the road was about to turn and so as i saw it my foot immediately hit the break but i had to turn i was still in the 100 something and that is when i lost control of the car, thankfully nobody was in proximity and i soon gained control of the car no harm done .

In saying that although I owned up to my reckless driving up there , there were a lot of idiots driving around for the rest of the day driving on the wrong side of the road just because, pushing out of line or is it lane? lane line? meh you know what I mean but in total I avoided at least 5 or 6 collisions with other vehicles today and really had to try not to lash out on any of the idiotic drivers , it somewhat scared the passenger with me but she also found it hilarious she notified me that she usually bitches and curses when riding with somebody else but she found it was not necessary today as i took care of it, yes i car blocked many cars today that were obnoxious and tried to take my way how rude!!! I showed them though and drove right in the middle .

Do you know how annoying the sound a car makes when you get sand inside the wheels? BLOODY ANNOYING!! the whistling and whining of those wheels were too much for my ears to handle and so I did what any sensible human being would do ... blast the stereo up close the windows and sing any non sappy song whilst cussing at any sappy song that does turn up especially anything by Adele ( btw I love Adele I am just trying to control certain emotions that Adele does not help with)



Drive safely kids .

09.05.2012

So this has been an interesting day to say the least, first of all I would like to say that I wish a very happy birthday to my dear friend Lilian Milly Watersomething you have now embarked on the big 4 o and you are going to love every second of it ( that is plotting the sweet taste of punching me for all of the above)

Today I was abused or rather I had my arse kicked and whooped and everything like that by a 7 year old , a girl none the less! now I will admit that it has been a while since I have been around any young girls the majority of kids be them cousins kids or friends kids and so on are pretty much all boys my favorite child ( my mini me) is a 7 well 8 in a few days and he is a boy we wrestle we play rough he quite often pretends to beat me and he can be an annoying little prick quite often how ever the violence in this lil girl was unexpected ( no i am not whining per say but it did bloody hurt!) i was bitten and hit and pinched rather hard of course my hair was pulled too which was not particularly pleasant and jumped on im glad the bite marks did not last more than a few hours on  (all over) my arms, but i figured her parents are recently divorced her father travels a lot i would let her take her frustration out on me after all better me than a kid at school or a stranger, her 11 year old sister was very glad to see me too thankfully she showed it in a more pleasant way which involved cuddling and playing and of course asking a gazillion questions about everything i told her she can come visit the UK with me anytime she wants.

I also watched my baby boy doing his home work on Skype it was pretty cool I loved it and the faces he pulls I really miss him hopefully I will get to see him by September, I told him I'll be getting my own place and he automatically said Im moving with you!!! mind you there might have been talk of me getting a dog prior to that would that be considered bribing? hah! its his birthday soon I have no idea what to get him, what do you get a kid that has everything they need?I am very glad he has no interest in cell phones I don't think kids should have phones he did mention a hot wheels remote control car however I have witnessed the fate of any car that comes within his grasp , if a car is condemned guilty of any felony the punishment would be spending 2 hours with him.... in my professional opinion he tries to make them fly , cry , or tests what they are truly made of come to think of it I am rather glad I am not a small anything with wheels within proximity , so birthday presents for 8 year old lil boys anyone ? I am sure his mother would love it if i sent him a painting kit with instructions to paint on the walls ...... sorry my evil side slipped !



Oh! and 3 people died not far from where I was maybe 4 , the reason is still unknown to me the rumors are too many but for once I behaved myself and I did not get involved, my mind seems adamant on preserving my body till I get to travel , So thank you mind for looking out for me.

Sooooo less bullets than anticipated thus I am not dodging bullets like I was last time, although with the current state of affairs it would not be surprising that things change by the time I return, elections are on the way and chaos is sure to spread .

Yesterday I believe was a full moon and of course I was mesmerized the entire car ride with my eyes following the moon although it looked kind of dull last night I was still transfixed none the less, i drove a lil today now here is the thing I absolutely love driving but since my accident at the end of August a couple of years back I drive but not the same there is a slight fear i still love it but only do it when i have to because i do not like anybody else driving i am more conscious of accidents yet i drive much faster than i used to so when i can i try to avoid driving all together especially if i have to drive anyone somewhere , but today i drove a bit and was fine it was nice i did not go to any main roads.

When love is in excess it brings a man no honor nor worthiness. Euripides

Also today was magnificent because I saw a friend I have not seen for over 11 years a friend I really really liked (maybe a slight crush was there) that suddenly disappeared in to thin air and nobody heard from her up until a couple of months ago , tonight I got to see her she just jumped on me and gave me possibly the best warmest hug of my life I have genuinely never felt so missed and cared for she paused to kiss my cheek and then resumed a tight heart felt hug, this coming from me the person that does not do hugs at all ok i do hugs but very rarely as my therapist pointed out i do not know how to hug apparently.

So all in all if I can try to be a bit more patient and do that mind over matter thing I may be able to make it till September. yay me!

A Z Reflection

Well lets see I really enjoyed it and truly hope there are more challenges like that prior to next April, it is a fantastic way to read new material, meet people and have a good laugh with people that have a similar (slightly twisted in my case) sense of humor, I also enjoyed the writing the deadlines the finding a topic that suits my writing style and well creating a writing style that is totally gibberish and random? that is a style i insist!

so I loved every minute of it and appreciate the opportunity of participating thank you A-Z blog challenge people who created this!

May so far

So far in the last few very hectic days its been well hectic , I literally feel like the challenge was finished a week ago or something, so in the last few days a bird decided it was appropriate to take a shit in public on the taxi that i was in whilst my window was open needless to say the rest .. all  i can think of is How Rude!!! at least use toilet paper or an equivalent next time! or offer me some since I needed to wiper yer shyte.

I almost went all hulky on a nurse by all hulky i mean the avengers version of the hulk he is by far the best in this movie yes i saw the avengers today but we will get to that later! I have a problem when it comes to trying to find a vein even if they are quite obvious in areas since the last hole from the last blood test i did was still present "." marked the spot I pointed that little piece of information out and advised her to  just give that location a try but does she listen? of course not or i would not have a story to tell, she decided to pole in 4 other locations in all 4 the vein was pretty much visible on the back of my hands and she did not succeed in finding any blood despite the multiple stabbing i mean slapping of my hand with a vengeance as if my hand took her out on a date and forgot to call her or something, to top that after each failed slap and stab she pressed so hard on the location of entry presumably to  prevent leakage i think however she thought that my blood was actually a rabid dog trying to bite and she was fending him of with her hand or maybe my blood was a prisoner trying to escape , part of my hand actually got swollen in objection the bad treatment! now yes I am not going to complain about the pain because I'm a man and what not however I could not work on my project for 2 days enough said ....

So yes I wanted to strangle her after all that as i was following orders to get my head in to that lil cage they put it in before you go in to the M.R.I machine she plugs stuff in my ears as if evil was bloody spewing out of them! what ever happened to nice being a job requirement and smiling! I think she might have been somebody in disguise not a nurse worth hiring a ninja to look in to it, if that was not enough when she did find blood eventually ( where i told her to stick it to begin with!) and my hand was covered with blood because she did not shut the canula thingy properly she had to use ancient sticking devices known as not so medical nowadays sticky tape and it was taped to take a guess? yes what little hair i did previously have on my hand which is now gone when she friggin pulled it off, i literally only have 2 lonely hairs on my right hand now what do you suggest i name them? you know so they feel loved.


so I had an M.R.I which is noisy as hell but I heard orchestra music in the background which actually was not playing, thankfully it seems to be reported that some people have heard music so i am not loopy, but these new medications for god knows what that i am on make me feel loopy and a bit snappy too thankfully thus far i have still maintained to control my temper... yay!

took the M.R.I results to a specialist  who thought the report that was with them was utter rubbish they missed out at least 3 things he mentioned sooo it was worst than initially suspected however I still think it is nothing and I am fine despite my dr's looking at me as if im going to die and giving me the " ill be with you all the way don't you worry" line .... when i say i am fine why are you giving me that line? you would think after 5 months of analyzing my personality they would have known a bit better than to say that instead of telling me to stay away from stress for the next 10 days and that i am way toooooo nice and that i have above average intelligence.... tell me something i dont know !


so since i got that bit of news today ( which i did not include here as you have noticed but it is safe to say that there are no aliens building a compound in my brain, and a brain does exist much to the disappointment of many )i decided to check what is on at the cinema only to find the avengers was on!!! naturally i automatically bought a ticket finished my shopping, thankfully i packed my bag for traveling earlier, by packed i mean folded what clothes i wanted like a 5 year old and chucked it in the suitcase.

I have decided to step back from a couple of things and let fate play its role because i do not want to snap at anyone and i truthfully if i want to get my project finished anytime soon or at least phase one of it i do need to clear my mind  a lil .


ok that is it for today ! Tomorrow I will be travelling to Libya which means socializing and an interview and meetings and work and more heat so I shall try to blog if not i will see you all in a week or 2! have fun be safe and all that jazzzzz

Zebra's!!

Marty !!! who doesn't love Marty how could you resist a zebra that does not shut up with a superb sense of humor at least in his mind ( and mine) and is the epitome of awesome!! of course i would say that he reminds me of the cartoon version of myself :D except well I have a British accent and am not always able to talk that fast and he is whiter than me but personality we are similar ! i think at least anyway... its really the smarter version of Donkey!

It is the final day , yes I am sad I got used to it one of my faithful readers admitted it sucks too , met a couple of nice people and found a few rather awesome blogs wait i should not be reflecting till next week guess ill have to cut this paragraph short!

Z is also for zoo's i love zoo's i wanted to be a vet or a zoo keeper to help all those animals although there being in captivity does break my heart.

Do you really know though what Z is really for ? I will share my thoughts with you dear friends Z is for Zero the quantity which could either be an end or a beginning as I am currently feeling quite Zen ( yes i am misusing the term i apologize ) I choose to see it as both the end and the beginning , I have had a horrid year my plans have gone anything but according to the plan this includes every single one of them and it has slowly started breaking me down to the point where i have seriously considered making other people happy and just giving up after all it kind of feels like i am being knocked around with thor's hammer , and then i remembered something very important i learnt during this year which is sometimes if your current theme/plan/attempt does not work then perhaps you should just change your strategy or your route to arriving at the goal rather than giving up entirely it is pointless putting effort and time to waste actually it is a waste rather than just pointless.....now to find a strategic planner! anyone know where i could find one?

And now I am going to shush because my hands hurt that is a story for later , be well! and zoooooom :D

Yes You!

I realize that the A-Z blog also has a " you " y post but no bother !

For the last 24 letters it has mostly been about me and x men and unicorns and other stuff i do not remember 

apart from that smile who could forget that smile anyway!

This post is about you all about you , I want to thank you all

for being so patient with me and reading and being such good 

readers, yes especially those that i demand to proofread for me

Thank you.

Now since this is about you I suggest you share whatever is on your mind whatever you want to say

be it a lil about yourself be it a joke be it what you did today

or even an irrelevant sentence that does not make sense is fine

such as wild monkeys ride hogs and jump from apartment buildings to play with dragons.

stop imaging me as a wild monkey! I'm nicely trimmed thank you very much.

This is about you Embrace it 

oh and that Jeremy Bates book called White lies ... Go buy it its friggin awesome!

( even though I have not read it yet and i intend to get it as soon as i get home because 

it is 

not available here)

Thank you God bless and plenty of nice stuff!

Yes I will hound you to write about you if we are in direct contact

P.s: This is about YOU!!!! do NOT comment about me!

X

Firstly the picture has absolutely nothing to do with the post it just looked So SUPER! Awesome I had to share because sharing is caring right? or something silly like that anyway .


X is a letter of the alphabet it's mostly used to rack peoples brain's ( yes yes my grammar is off who cares) thinking of a word that starts with X that is not xylophone or a pharmaceutical, X is also a variable an unknown quantity used to drive some people crazy during the course of mathematical equations, i say during the course of because it is usually a lengthily process when driving said people crazy on some occasions it is rather fun to watch... no I am not mean!!!I just well don't take my time and laugh at people trying to figure it out? fine fine i am not that sadistic but it can be fun! try it sometime ( but not on lil kids that is just mean)

as X is used for unknown variables in mathematics and physics it kind of caught on and started being used for unknown anythings ( no i don't know if that is the actual sequence of events but in my mind it is ), it is used for treasure maps and aiming and unknown mutant genes till they become known , this fly buzzing around looks like a big x that needs hunting down too.... there we go that's done now i can try and concentrate on this post if JO! stops pestering me God that Jo can be such a nuisance at times (it is actually vice versa to be honest)

I was worried about what to write for X then it struck me right in the middle of my wee forehead X is for X-MEN how could i not have made the association sooner, X-men are basically giant X's walking around aren't they? because women are smarter than that ok ok silliness aside , they are people with some sort of genetic mutation that make them different ( i am not going to talk about super powers) now in the story/movie/comics/imagination it is always related to superpowers however in reality there are X amount of things that make you different you can either be an x man through personality which may be acceptable and may make you shunned from society because well you are simply different which is fine if we were all the same same there would never be progress, there are x men because of looks there are x men due to actual genetic mutations that lead to disease or just physical abnormalities (  mutations are rather common actually but the body usually fixes them before they cause any harm when it is possible for it to do so)((yes i am being a know it all sorry!)) the point is being an x man is not something bad but sadly just like it is portrayed in the movies even it is all sci fi it is a reflection of reality in a way , not all "normal" people like anyone different around them all though many x men can easily blend in and be counted as "normal" nobody should be made to feel different just because they are different, they should not be made to feel like they are abnormal or not part of the pack and so on.

embrace your difference it only makes you more special and if anybody has a problem with that well it is their problem to deal with not yours , I am an X man in so many ways and very proud , if you are an x man/woman i hope you are proud of it too if you are not i hope you are proud of the x men/women that surround you .

embrace the difference! and enjoy that super awesome car above .

Wonderland

WWW. a post of wonderful things. WOW or an attempt anyway ...


I was walking home a couple of days ago and I am usually not a too slow walker when i noticed the guy in front of me who was slightly elderly taking his leisure walking and i thought to myself why am i not doing that it is such a wonderful thing to walk slowly and take in your environment your surrounding just enjoy it live the moment..... then i remembered it was hot i hate the heat and he was only walking slowly because he could not walk any faster soooo I was home 2 or 3 minutes later thinking i need to realize and pay more attentions to the little wonders around me ( even if i hate this country i am sure there are wonders in it ) and I have been enjoying the wonderful wise words of an actual hardback book , today i saw that in front of our building one of the tree's was blossoming with a rather whimsical purple ( yes purple not violet!) although i may have been in a slightly whimsical mood because I can not keep my eyes or my mind of that beautiful fictional girl and her wondrous smile .

W is for werewolf ! I have a thing for werewolves I am unsure why and I actually see them as well something that would turn in to a wolf not a vicious wolf man , my lil boy( he is not my son before anyone gets confused) informed me that we are to write a children's book this summer about a werewolf with an opposable thumb that he will use to throw arrows at soldiers when he rescues a princess.

W is also for HIM! Professor Albus Dumbledore

He is a character that just oozes of Wisdom , someone that can tell you winning is not everything and personally i would believe him.

W is for white a colour i love however not a shade my heart is at all familiar with any longer alas such is life, but do you know what my favorite W word is? that goes with that wondrous smile... its Wit oh my do i love me some wittiness I will argue knowing I am wrong just to hear/read/witness those witty responses!


and so We conclude this Wordy post , ooh i forgot to mention words! how could i do that words are almost everything in this world of ours it is words that buy hearts and words that break them words that steal moments words that creates them in one way or another we are the living expression of our words are our thoughts anything but words in our heads ? words are capable of buying and selling of giving lives and ending them sadly what are we without words truly?


I wish you all well 

Variety of V's

Such  a large Variety of things to ramble on however I woke up with the words virtue and value on my mind, 2 things I have not seen much of lately and it makes me Very sad, I am a man that seeks value in every aspect of my life quality over quantity in other words, when I say value you already know that market value or material value is not what i mean't I mean true value and worth of the item or the person or the moment , yes moments or well memories are valuable none the less wouldn't you think?

variations of variables nowadays cause such a strong yet weak V word which is Violence, there is no real reason for Violence as far as my brain is concerned it is mostly fear and insecurity or vulnerability one would say on many levels not just a personal level, Vulnerability is something I have to admit to although with me it has never lead to and will never lead to Violence I am a vulnerable man with certain things such as cookies , Family and so on my vulnerability lies in my insecurities that i am working on and in my lack of control within certain situations also my  consistent optimism is a vulnerability with the state of the world how it is nowadays my hope that humans will choose virtue over other things is a vulnerability , my not accepting that i can not physically protect all the people i love is a vulnerability , my lack of emotion with people i do not 100% care about may be considered a vulnerability and many other things that you can feel free to point out if you know them . There is a value a reason and a memory behind each thing that makes me vulnerable or that  i am vulnerable because of and that is not a bad thing they are not all bad things in fact the first 3 are absolutely amazing and would not want to change the way things are in regards to v'ness.

V is for vicious , dragons can be vicious mind you to be honest id rather take a vicious dragon over a vicious woman any day at the end of the day there is a higher success rate for taming vicious dragons ! than there is men who have survived vicious women ( smile don't you frown at me for joking like this!)

V is for violet, which is nothing more than a fancy word for purple!

Violin is an instrument i love and have always been meaning to learn but never got to actually buying one to begin with and to be frank new sword is higher on the priority list than a violin is along with a pair of boots a plane ticket and a holiday for 2 followed by a holiday for 3 ok ok i'm not going in to my bucket list here now!

V is for victory which is to be announced soon against certain people/situations and certain vulnerabilities ( after the first 3!)

and so I conclude v day with .... Va Va Voooooooom! or Vroom Vroom ?

Voila!!

Only U

This post is brought to you by Miss Marie (because I was feeling lazy and she did not really think I would post this)

U is for uterus and that is the main thing that makes women different than men.. and ulitimately special.  Any creature that can bleed and for days and not die.. and produce offspring is ultimately amazing of course deserves our undying admiration.  And of course, we owe them our lives.. so here is to Uterus's  everywhere..  Thanks for life!

Ok now to my part of the post! since inspiration struck at 6 am or something odd like that right in the middle of being asleep ... how rude of inspiration to come knocking at such an inappropriate time!

Interruption: I read this very beautiful quote that I just had to share with you


الرجُـــل إن عشـــق روح المــرأه "فــلن يعشــــق إلا إمـــرأه واحــــده"

"أمــا إن عشـــق وجهـهــا "فلـــن تكفيــــه جميـــع نســــاء الأرض
Translation : If a man falls in love with a woman's spirit then he will love only one woman, however if he falls in love with her face then all the women on the face of the planet will not be enough.

A few days ago I watched (Again) the movie Black gold not the version that my grandfather was watching as a child no the 2011 version of the movie that contained Antonio Banderas and did not make it to the US cinema theaters ( how the hell did it slip my mind that U is for UNICORN!!!) its the second time I watch this movie and it is truly amazing what happened there and what is NOT happening now in the Arab world ( yes it was a movie about Arabs and oil )actually not just the Arab world its everywhere it is something humanity currently lacks , as humans we are all divided and for petty reasons ( do not imagine lil fury cute objects!).

You have religion that is a major divider which is something i do not comprehend because the basics for the 3 biggest Godly religions are the same  here I am referring to Christianity Islam and erm Jews? the basic point of all 3 is there is ONE God and you should worship him yet wars are raged and it divides us as humans.  Sexuality divides us what the hell difference does it make to your life who someone takes to bed with them? how does it effect you ? how does it effect their performance at work or at school or at sports? it doesnt! yet it divides us

Interruption:

U is for Uvula as pointed out by Pinky.

Food divides us granted not as much as the previous 2 but vegans vegetarians and omnivores for some reason they do not always get along ok ok i don't have a strong point there but you get the gist of it , oh oh oh sports! stupid sports can cause friggin death at times I would know at least 67 ended up dead due to a football match earlier this year here in Egypt and we know the fights that are caused between the Everton and Liverpool fans ! the point is we let stupid things get in the way , see there is one thing that drives us humans more than anything more than money more than fear more than blood relations and that is emotions.....Feelings in other words pure humanity .... that is what brings us together , that is what Unites us!

So why is it that we can not unite? now I am not greedy enough to want the whole populations of humans to unite that is too sci-fi but why is it that we can not unite to bring down corruption in governments, as Arabs have done that why could they not stay united and continue the work? why can't we unite and demand our basic human rights to be provided such as decent health care for everyone ( this includes the fury lil critters and large ones too) decent education for everyone decent housing , why can't we unite to accomplish that? are we that different truly even with different religions and different political views and different skin colour and different backgrounds of any kind aren't we all at the end of the day humans? born from uterus's as Marie kindly pointed out with 2 arms  2 legs a head and a trunk? do we not breathe the same air walk the same earth eat the same bloody junk? I personally will work to make people realize that our differences are very little ( they are only big if you are an exaggerating drama queen to be honest and i will debate/argue that with anyone) and that the only way we can get the best out of ourselves and our government is to unite together as humans to reach our true potential.


U is for Unity ..... who's with me!

T

To be or not To be that is the question.



The answer is To be! of course , if you can not be then try to be, forget the trouble forget the turmoil and continue to try .

T is also for telepathic  communication .... I suck at it .

T is for truths also known as facts such as :

• Cookies contain more energy than T.N.T
• Tests are always feared even if you know you know the answers because you have seen the question before hand, or you know it doesn't hurt because you have done it before.
• Chocolate is not always good unless its british /italian/swiss.
• There are at least 3 cities by the name of Tripoli , there is one in Libya, Lebanon and Greece.
• I had a racist dog, that did not like Pakistani people.
• Skipping 100 times a day works wonders for your body.
• The princess of Barsoom is the same lass in Wolverine origins and she is pretty.
• E-books will never substitute real books or libraries.
• You don't have to like cheese to love cheesecake.
• Being silly is absolutely awesome.
• Alcohol does not necessarily raise your blood sugar, certain kinds of vodka can in fact lower ones blood sugar.
• jogging/exercising  in the morning usually makes you happier ( even if you hate it to begin with ) because it releases hormones that make it so.
• chocolate is awesome.
• im on meds that make me crazy and forgetful
• i am out of facts

Telephones are cool they are even cooler when people respond .

Tigers well baby tigers that are white are as adorable as the most adorable thing ever!

This post kind of sucks and I have no words for U other than ultraviolet!

p.s: im totally addicted to kitkat but you are all terrific

Ramblings!

Yes this is not a particularly easy letter to ramble with however I woke up rather annoyed today not because of life because of a little tiny vengeful creature and so I am going to take my revenge on all of its family within the vicinity of where i live! by God I will! the creature is obviously a fly or flies in this case, in fact I  have reason to believe they may be super flies you see I live on the 6th floor and I have not seen a fly waiting for the elevator and ascending or departing from the elevator at any point ( there is a possibility that it may have happened whilst i was not looking but i Refuse to acknowledge that right now) and let us be honest 6 stories with those lil wings would be tiring if they did that and they were not super flys they would not have the energy to annoy me.

Mind you the one from this morning was quite lethargic as far as flys go , so since they have taken it upon themselves to break up my sleep every single day every single morning every single nap I will take it upon myself to destroy each one of the, I mean why would a tiny creature try to annoy a giant like me ( i'm not really a giant but in comparison) surely it has a death wish or is it a fly's idea of raging war against humanity? we shall annoy them in to oblivion one human at a time! we shall push them to accidentally lose balance whilst in the balcony trying to kill us! if i were a tiny creature with wings I would indeed cause chaos and havoc most likely but not come face to face with my eminent death or in this case face to hand.....it is a ridiculous notion i am aware of that but let us embark on the ruins of our childhood imagination ( now known as an adult imagination) imagine yourself all tiny and fairy like but of course you lack magic id say fly like but im sure that would not be appealing , imagine flies were the predominant race and they were huge would you  go pester them? i mean ok you might try to chip a wing to see if it results in them flying in circles ok ok ok fine the fly's are right! i shall not take my revenge upon them unless it is more than one at a time!


all joking aside though Revenge is bad it does not bring back what you lost be that a human or a stapler it does not make you feel better this is according to guy mode anyway i am unaware if it is different with girl mode, Revenge should be left to karma or divine plotting and is not something that should be maintained by  human beings it can get messy so bottom line revenge is bad!

And my initial R word that I was going to ramble on about before I woke up all annoyed because of a fly, since I do not wish to make this any longer than it already it I will tell you a couple of my rituals.... since i was a child during the spring and the summer when insects find it is time to fall in love and produce millions of copies of themselves to me it becomes hunting season , each night before bed i grab a pillow or a newspaper close the room door and start hunting any mosquito's visible to my naked eye ( surely i'm not going to dress my eyes before bed!what kind of monster do you think i am) i then proceed with killing each one i find even if it takes hours before i go to bed see the noise of them flying within the range of my ear irritates the hell out of me if they just land on me whilst i'm asleep fill up on blood and leave silently i wouldn't bother but nooooo they have to make their presence known!

another ritual which usually annoys my grandmother unless she has missed me is brushing teeth, when i brush my teeth (  surely i mentioned this before right?) I can not stand still in front of the sink for 4 minutes or so like a normal human being, instead i walk around the house brushing my teeth which she finds amusing because i will stand in front of her face to face for about 15 seconds during my mobile teeth brushing session.... so those were a couple of my Rituals do you have any weird rituals ? do share :)

Quiet time

It is Quiet time shhhhh......whilst we are quiet for a minute or 2 ( depends on how much time you are kind enough to spare)let us all send a prayer to everyone that needs it this includes every child,soldier( of your country or not)that is sucked in to a war for imaginary reasons ( yes there are no real reasons or real threats just drama)every parent and elderly, every animal and every creature , that need it , let us all take a minute to pray for our world and what is in it.

Thank you

God bless you and our quiet minute or 2.

rant

Patience is something I am currently running out of last night did not go well I was pretty much ambushed/betrayed or it felt like that anyway so my realm of Possibilities is going on vacation right now, the way I see it I am guilty of the crime and thus I will do the time my punishment is drugs for something I am convinced I do not have ( of course the counter to that is no crazy person thinks they are crazy)

What i do / How my therapist interprets it:



I put other first/You are a monster with yourself

I delay things for me in anticipation of problems by other people that will need to be dealt with/You are a monster to yourself that is trying to kill  yourself

I am not bonding/forming a friendship with her/You are incapable of forming relationships you will screw up any romantic relationship with men or women ( i'm not even bi you idiot)

I do not yell at her when she yells at me/You are incapable of expressing anger

I was not compassionate when she was sad (apparently because i am such a difficult person ) and my only response was I apologize hope it gets better/ You do not feel anything you can not feel.

I try to understand by making statements and asking questions/You do not grasp the reality of things and are too argumentative, you use arguments to run away ( run away from what !!!i would rather use a bike or getaway car it would be much cooler)

I decide to keep my thoughts to myself/You are Arrogant and pompous

I am honest/You are manipulative

I stop taking medication I find not making a difference and decide to stop wasting money on courses I do not need/You only do what you want

I am a gentleman that chooses to not objectify women/You are sexually immature in fact you have the sexual maturity of a 2 year old.

I believe in my beliefs/You are too stubborn and you manipulate your own self

of course I could just say fuck it , go home get a job, put off university for another year or 2 till i save up the price for the final year of tuition and stop wasting precious time, but i made somebody a promise and I refuse to disappoint that person just because i could not take my punishment like a man just because i could not take a lil pressure, nope nope can't have that so I will force some patience in to existence  i will take the stupid drugs to prove i am right and try to control my temper, thank you for listening!

P

Penguins!!!! " Zebra's cant drive! only penguins and people can drive!!"  true story....

Pie is a good p word , one of the things on my bucket list or i suppose its 2 things, marry a woman that can make a pie ! ( she can buy it and say she made it or even just buy it i don't particularly care as long as they stand together) and have pie at an actual diner in the states.

I was trying to brain storm with Angela some P words and she had the nerve to suggest Pink!!!! how RUDE!! I do not like pink it may have something to do with my friend Claire being absolutely obsessed which resulted in me getting her a pink Christmas tree which of course she found to be perfect, i had a similar incident as a child with a girl called Suzanne and her obsession with the color Yellow and the planet Uranus.... ok perhaps i keep weird company... anyhow the conversation (i had to not unleash my pinky wrath since it is not her fault) reminded me of Facebook singing( she said 2 lines i said one that was it not a grand duet or anything sadly) with Angel and it happened to be a pink song  thus I dislike the color but adore the artist.

Perfect is a p word i am not fond of my biological mother was a perfectionist and it was problematic for me but it is also a nice song by pink Perfect-Pink .

Princess Sandra ( who is a magnificent artist that you can check out on Awesome link you MUST!! check  out) was kind enough to suggest the perfect thing to write about which is PANCAKES!!! pancakes are great I do not know how to make a round pancake mine always look erm "special" they look different but taste great!

Mr.Tim suggested Pumped which is what he is doing with the help of the Punisher.

Patience is a good word its something I am so good at because I have been obligated to be patience rather often in my life but so bad at   at the same time, I choose to be patient with some things because some things are worth it there is a difference when it is your choice in comparison to when well you have no choice but it doesn't make it any easier just more justified by what you are looking forward too.

Problems ...they jump at me left right center and even from behind but the beauty of problems is they make you creative they get you thinking for solutions so although problems are not nice they do stimulate ones mind to an extent.

Pretty things.... ill leave this for someone else to write about

There is one word that hit close to home so to speak when I was thinking of the letter P one thing that sung yup this is the word you could write about but I have to apologize for the disappointment ( assuming it is there) because I am not in the frame mind to do it justice, that word is Passion, I am a very passionate person I am passionate about life (even if this does not seem like the case right now) I get passionate about causes as is evident with me being stuck here as consequence or my passion , I am passionate about the people in my life be it a woman or my friends or family, passion gives me drive motivation sometimes it causes rash decisions but that is fine not every decision a person makes has to be sound that is the perfection of life.


and last but not least you are all perfect, do not doubt that ever, the perfection is in the imperfections and little quirks that each and every one of you has you are the only one that is perfectly you ...... ok my Preaching is over Perhaps I shall call it a Post for now.

Obviously...

I am a potter fan book wise and for some reason Severus Snape is one of my favorite characters with my favorite line of his being " Obviously....." with that condescending tone of his ( FINE! I admit I do use it with annoying people since I have the accent to pull it off or something like it). Opinion is also a rather good O word since everybody has one actually everybody has many but see this is not what I wish to ramble on about today.

The last few days have not been particularly the best but some things have been at least mentally sorted partitioned well Organized so to speak , some rough decisions have been made that was something that needed to be done and one more decision that is sadly not in my hands still needs to be made tonight.

Some of the rough decisions were not particularly to my liking at the current time but I do understand them and I did make a promise to wait however long it takes, now life has a way of making you doubt decisions and promises like that which is kind of where i was yesterday the what if it doesn't work out what if i screw it up before i even start what if other stuff happen what if it is not fair to either parties what if what if what if... one of the things agreed upon ( in a joking manner) was that in this particular case I will most likely need some divine intervention

And so to my surprise yesterday and today during my doubts divine intervention was presented in the form of Signs as I like to call them, signs that come in the form of random songs or quotes or billboards or something catches your eye you know what i am on about.... this has lead to reassurance in my decision and furthermore an Outburst of Optimism , yes O is for Optimism there is nothing wrong with being Optimistic you can be just that whilst still maintaining your feet firm on the ground of planet Jasoum or Earth as we know it, hope is such a wonderful thing to have a weapon not many people have and the dose of Hope I have gotten in the last 24 hours are all I needed, Optimism can equip you with positive energy (which brings in positive energy) it can make you feel fearless courageous and stronger than you admit to yourself.


so that thing that is currently on your mind nagging and filling you with doubts insecurities and what if's conquer it with a spear of Optimism without looking back, as the wise zoo man said " 20 seconds of courage is all it takes" or something like that!

Nylon

N is for Nylon that is right however we both know you are not foolish enough to believe I would write about Nylon!!!! no N is for navigating through notorious negativity which seems to be attempting to abduct positive thoughts and things from my life against my will , negativity is rather sneaky it is quite ninja like .

Coincidentally as admirable as ninja's are and yes I do dream of having ninja powers as almost every guy does, in a battle between a pirate and a ninja a Pirate would win statistically it is because a Pirate has a gun however I believe it is due to sheer awesomeness lack of discipline the presence of alcohol and possibly the stench , ninja's as fantastic and quick and strong as they are, are not trained on how to handle pirate stench hence the lack of deodorant or a nose peg as one of their weapons!

anyhow! back to navigating, as i said negativity is silent and it takes over your thoughts in a blink of an eye sometimes you will not realize it till you find yourself knee high in it ( which is bad in regards to everything that is not beach/lake/chocolate ok swimming pool applies too) which will most likely feel like you are stuck and have no idea what to do or which direction, which is where the navigator voice in your brain gets activated ( don't imagine your gps unless its that irish lady voice that says "round about" all funny and irish like ) i am not sure what yours tells you if you are crying in that situation the first thing it will tell you to do is to stop leaking it only adds to the mud! i mean negativity, mine brings up happy memories or happier memories at least, achievements,reminds that i have superpowers that are suitable to be used in this situation ...


actually i had the superpowers conversation with liz earlier today we established her smile is not a super power and i have 2 super powers the first being pure awesomeness that i can bestow upon anyone and usually help pull them out of their little puddle of negativity ( i try to use it as much as often without bragging) the second is i have the ability to fly for 2 seconds at a time because i need to refuel every 2 seconds , of course she was not happy with this but i stood my grounds! in saying that i will admit that any woman's smile is a superpower capable of pulling any man at least out of negativity.

so when you are stuck in that lil puddle remember you are strong and you can stride past it right in to the positive spectrum of sunshine you are also a pirate that can fend away that ninja like negativity because you are Amazing! ( no im not saying you stink or you are alcoholic im just saying you are cool like cap'n sparrow)

God bless you all!( and may he protect you from ninjas)

Also as Roxi just reminded me N is for NOTHING! can stop you or stand in your way.

M is for mission

Yes today  I am going to spare you a long one I figure I owe you that for yesterday, so today I am not going to talk about one specific thing I am going to ask you to go find your miracle or miniature miracle ( as the lovely Sandra put it ) and ignite the magic in your day , I'm talking about something that well if you were in a movie you'd get grand orchestral music playing in the background kind of magical, if you find something mystical or mysterious i will settle for that too but! at the end of the day I kindly ask you to come share it with us...


I think presenting you with this mission is much nicer than talking about how money is evil not because it was manufactured by Satan but, because we fail to recognize that it is only one currency out of many thus the balance of using the currencies is skewed towards money resulting in corruption and many other things anyway !

Be Marvelous and take the challenge please :)

K.O

Do you know what the most important part of being knocked down or over is? be it by life by people by a brick it doesn't matter how you get knocked down or over i mean an evil scientist  might use a super duper fire breathing gun on you but it doesn't change anything,   the most important part of the process.... is getting back up!

No matter what you get back up because you are stronger than whomever would do that to you and God would never put you in a situation that you are not strong enough to over come.

ok now that the advice session is over my favorite K word is Kindness, I am very grateful to have many people in my life with the kindest hearts ( they make up for the unkind ones i have to deal with ) Kindness is not represented by donating stuff or money in my eyes, it can actually be found in a look or a word or a touch or a post it note its a sentiment that one can either emit or not you can't be slightly kind you either are kind or not.

So out of fear of turning this post Sappy ( which seems to be a theme SORRY!) I would just like to say be kind every day every moment you can try to be kind even when you do not have it in your heart to even be nice to someone be kind because kindness is a superpower that you my friend possess, and it takes you a long way.

J is for.. Jack's Journey

J is not particularly easy to write about mainly because my mind keeps drifting of to Jurassic park and Jammy dodgers, so I will as always write about a few J things first of all is Jack, Jack is my almost 3 months old foster puppy who is a black Labrador, when I took Jack in he couldn't walk he couldn't even stand for more than 2 seconds at a time he was most of the time in that position in the picture and when he tried to move it ends up looking like some sort of crawl with his arse in the air pushing forward and using his chin and elbows which i found had a big hairless patch with bloody scabs on each, he could not eat by himself he soiled himself naturally with occasional head spasms and if all that wasn't enough the poor fella was constipated.

I was very worried for Jack it was obvious by the second day that the previous owner/breeder was not feeding him that well nor giving him a proper dose of medication, my fear was it was a neurological condition rather than just lack of calcium or well lack of care I mean cmon even a puppy doesn't like being covered in its own urine all day long.

So obviously I fell in love with Jack immediately mind you his sister is also very gorgeous, he reminded me of the andrex puppy except well he is black, despite his condition you could see the warmth in his eyes and the need to please, he could not stand and still tried to follow me and the frustration he felt ( well it looked like he was beyond frustrated anyway) just broke my heart i decided if it was indeed a neurological condition I will be giving up on my trip to the states and using the saved funds to take him home with me even if it will cost a fortune.

By the 3rd day the lil fella was standing and trying to take a couple of steps before falling flat on his face , stubborn resilient little tyke he was a dog after my own heart  he kept trying and trying till by the end of the 3rd day he was walking which was completely astonishing, by the next day he was walking as if he had been all his short life, and by the end of the week Jack was galloping like a horse.

He still thinks he is a horse charges with his head down and prances around he barely barks maybe he is part horse? it would explain the size difference between him and his sister..... one of the things that I love about Jack is that he is the first dog that I have had the pleasure of living with that actually fetches the friggin ball! chases after it over and over again without boring of the process, yes he will not willingly give you the ball back you have to pull it out of his mouth , now I know this is not something important or even special but the fact of the matter is with all the dogs I've ever owned or dogs that belonged to friends none of them ever fetched! my Rhea used to fetch not more than 3 times then would give you the " if you want the stupid stick go bloody get it yourself !" look  so you can see my Joy!

                                                                               Rhea

speaking of Joy, despite my whining and my rough year as of 18.06.2011 I am very thankful that I can still find Joy in the little things such as playing fetch or managing to string a poem together or finding the patience required to not hurt someone well that goes for verbally or by testing to see if a brick can can come close enough to whisper rough somethings in to someones ear using its body language, I find Joy every day with the small witty conversations with my friends, I find Joy in my therapist admitting that I drive her insane ....that is what happens when you are arrogant around me! , and I find Joy in thinking of certain possibilities.

Anyway! back Jack, he seems to like me enough to ignore food for a good 10-30 seconds just to scratch my legs and try to get me to pet him before he eats which is very endearing he also thinks well actually they both think that I am a Jungle Jim ( double J points by any chance?even if it is spelled wrong!) a bed, a pillow, a fighting arena and last but not least as my poor hands will tell you a chewing toy, both my hands are chewing toy as far as Jack and Sophie are concerned they will sit there with a hand each in their mouth nibbling away ok nibbling is an understatement for him he literally tries to eat my hand a few times a day god knows why.

I am very happy to say that there are no more scabs and the fur has almost completely regrown on both his elbows and there is no trace of anything ever happening on his chin, he is a healthy lovely little pup now that likes to gnaw cries like a little bitch when play fighting with his sister who is half his size, and loves without measure, I remember last week when I was beyond upset because well I was being ignored by someone very dear to my heart he just climbed on top of me and lay his head on my chest and just kept looking at me with his puppy eyes till I felt loved again and forgot temporarily what the issue was.


Jack is one of my current Joys of life and I hope that I have managed to give his Journey through life an improved start , I hope we will find him a lovely home with someone who will adore him just as Jack will adore whomever it is Jack is my Joy he is a daddy's boy and I pray for the best for him

What is your Joy ?

I was going to ramble on about Jealousy then I realized i'm too much of a jealous man ( due to protectiveness and not lack of trust) that it would give the wrong impression.

Just a quick reminder to smile

SMILE ! :D

go find someone you have not spoken to in a while and tell them that they are amazing , go do it NOW! yes you reading the blog NOW NOW NOW

I is for introduction to I

I is for a combination of intelligence slight insecurities( i refuse to admit to anything more than slight!)ingenious , irritating,insane, infatuated, invisible, invincible , inadequate, irreplaceable, interesting I !

So I is for me being Inspired to be egotistical no no not really egotistical , you see when the lovely miss Lou Lou commented on one of my posts earlier it made me realize or well gave me the sense that despite her being someone that is very dear to my heart ( for no one reason she has been since i met her i blame it on her amazing vibe) that she does not know me as well as i thought she did which means many of my friends probably soooo for I , I am going to allow you all to get to know me a lil bit an Introduction to I if you will.....

I am Anthony I am bad at speaking about myself and I hate overusing the word "I" which I realize which will unfortunately occur a lot during this blog, it would be better if you would ask questions but perhaps that would defy the purpose of " I", was born in London a few years ago to an Arab family with European origins that they dismiss and unfortunately the odd one out of the family,  raised in Manchester then forced to go back to Libya which caused a culture clash in my mind as parents wanted something and my brain can not process anything illogical , lets see I was subjected to plenty of emotional and physical abuse from them which is why i loved school, i love reading, animals, cooking( which i am not half bad at just for your information!) i have a thing for underdogs i feel it is my duty to help if i come across anyone at all that needs help does that make me the nice guy next door kind of person? i don't know, I am considered slightly weird or abnormal maybe one of the reasons for that is because i try to make logical sense of many things.

My way of getting to know people or choosing the people to include in my life begins with sensing the vibe that i get from them that is how initially i will feel or decide that yes this is a person i want to get to know or not, sorry if that sounds crazy but it happens and there isn't another way in my head to explain it better than that. I am honest to the point of it being a flaw, and very proud, very very muleish (stubborn) but usually i mean well because rather often i will go out of my way to help someone else in fact I've done the adult version of giving away your lunch/lunch money and staying hungry for someone because they need it more rather often. my heart is at my sleeve my emotion is at the tip of my tongue because I've learnt life is too short so i don't like keeping things in or to myself for too long just in case.

slightly competitive, occasionally moody, very very patient but not patient at the same time if that makes sense, i love drawing but i'm shit at it unless effort is sufficiently being invested and time, reading is one of my favorite things to do but i do not learn through reading the hands on or acoustic approach is easier for me , what people see in the mirror and what i see when i look at them are somewhat different i try to see people as a whole and to be honest i have to admit that i am surrounded by beautiful amazing people this includes people that are hurting me that can easily be put aside and i still see them as beautiful people.

I love Disney this may be slightly embarrassing but i still cry every time i see dumbo or Bambi ( those are the only times i ever cry!) and im a big kid a real softy in heart despite my macho appearance attempts.I am a chocaholic and proud!



erm lets see what else, i believe i am capable of making a difference at least in one person's life but still trying to figure out how, i do not easily admit defeat or being hurt or broken and tend to ignore it till the pain is unbearable where i will rant about how its unfair and shit then go back to ignoring it the very next day and resuming a life trying to be happy chasing after dreams, yes a dreamer is me! I  am fair and always to try to work on my self without changing the imperfections that shape my personality, if i love someone i mean it and i love deeply which is probably bad but there is know other way of doing it for me, intelligent women especially gingers are my weakness as are lil fury things that can not be squished accidentally in one's hand.

I am a family man and would protect my family with my life, my friends and my loved ones are my family, i do not  now how to do something half arsedly or half way its either 100% or not unless it is something for myself ( self value is something i am working on), very hot headed passionate and argumentative but will admit if i'm wrong and apologize, I'm the guy that will walk you home to make sure you arrive safe despite twisting my ankle or having a headache from hell, I'm the guy that will listen to you repeat the same mistakes with the same kind of guys or girls and give you a hug even if i strongly disagree with your choices, I'm the guy that makes my students try to feel at home in a foreign country( i work with international students) and the guy that will try anything that needs to be done to make something happen even if it is not within my limits or reach.

I am the nice guy that girls look over , the best friend, the brother , the cool uncle , the guy that will get your kid an Easter egg or those new soccer shoes they've been pining about because the father can't  be arsed, the guy that things every little girl is a princess and every real woman is a queen that should be treated as such, I fight for animal rights, gay rights, basic human rights, minorities,underdogs,misunderstood people , anyone that lost their voice during some point in time, I am the guy that will cook you dinner and insist on rubbing your back when you get home from work, the guy that will randomly send you flowers or leave you notes to  not just show you how much i care but make you feel it, the guy that will try what  i hate just to make you happy.

I am a proud believer in God and I am a Muslim, I am different but strong , caring but not naive,smart but not insensitive ,I am a gentleman, ,I am very silly, spontaneous at times, crazyish (in a non medical more fun way) hell if it wasn't for my mediocre looks i'm pretty near perfect! ( did i forget to mention egotistical at times?)I can be a bit annoying some women would say scary actually too but extremely genuine .I know what I want maybe not how to get it but that's ok life is a journey that I wish to take my time through....

that is all i can think of and it is more than enough but feel free to ask whatever e
Sooooooo introduce me to yourself?

oh and i LOVE! arguing if i have not mentioned it already if i have well this is for confirmation on how much i love arguing and debating