Wednesday, 21 March 2012

Isolation day 12

He woke up distressed from a sad confusing dream to the sound of a loud thump followed by loud crying from the bathroom, thinking it was in his head or possibly just hearing things he waited a few seconds staring in to the darkness of the sky outside and trying to unblur his vision to check the time only to find it was around 4 am,  the crying was less loud but did not stop so within seconds he was out from under the warm duvet and jumping from the ground to the bathroom to see what had happened.The joyful look on the pups face when they saw him immediately erased the look of inconvenience on his own face that crept up as soon as he saw that it was nothing more than puppies being puppies, they both hushed immediately till he stepped out of the bathroom and so in his groggy mind that was still trying to figure out the dream he decided maybe the mentally trying to potty train them is working? maybe just maybe the telepathic messages that were being sent to try to get them to do their business outside and not in their bed might be working, in which a smile was drew on his face and they were taken out to do their business. Sadly they decided to play instead although he was perhaps still half asleep and did not notice if they did their business or not, after a few minutes of staring in to the darkness and trying to wash away the feelings of surrender stupidity and heartbreak that resulted from the dream he looked down to find 2 tiny faces sitting in front of the door staring up at him with big brown puppy eyes that seem'd to emit a message saying we will go to sleep for the rest of the night we will most likely wake you up early but we will try not to all we want is your lap and we can all sleep happily every after.

How could one resist such notion even at that time of night, the door was barely open when they were rushing in and jumping between his legs and the bed on the floor, it was chilly out the wind was pushing the door open and lifting his hair from his face as it blew hard on it, streaks of light were appearing at the horizon as if sneaking up behind the buildings like a massive super stealthy ninja. The beauty of the site was indescribable as it usually is the case with a sunrise on a chilly morning when you are freezing but your feet are warm due to furballs being on them and your mind is wandering off to something that is hurting you more than  you care to admit but the beauty is equally enchanting , for those few minutes all he could think about was her smile as the wind blew through her hair so modest so warm , until his brain pulled him back to reality reminding that his shorts may be growing icicles soon and the hairs on his arms were giving a standing ovation as his nose decided it a good time to see what it would feel like if it practiced being a tap.

He stepped back inside closing the doors much to the disappointment of the howling wind with his insides battling between the turmoil in his chest and the heart stirring image lingering in his head, he went back to bed and they followed fighting over his lap only to be disappointed that he was lying down and they would have to settle for cuddling close instead, as if to comfort him or say it will all work out just fine little Sophie decides she wanted to sleep on his chest whilst Jack snuggled up with his arm of course she may have just wanted the larger surface area for a warmer nap but that is something that will be determined later, as he lay there comforted by the heart beat of the tiny little puppy he could not help but feel pity for himself for a mere few seconds after all he was known to be an Ice King when it came to emotions, then it dawned on him that the little runt on his chest and the energetic tyke by his side would not be here if they had given up if they succumbed to the will of their previous owner,memories of jack trying to stand up and falling on his tiny chin flooded him the poor puppy tried so hard to stand and walk there were scabs on his chin and elbows his grunts of frustration still audible in between the sounds of tissues draining the tappy nose, but Jack made it he stood up and jogged since puppies do not run when they are this short in fact they both even pounce like miniature somethings pouncing on their pray or in this case each others ears legs and tails.

Admiring the strength of their will to live happily or possible stubbornness the patience he decided to learn and continue to be more patient after all he has earned the scars and scabs but that breathtaking image in his head will not be one of them it is at the end of the day one of the main reasons he is able to put a smile on his face and challenge the difficulties thrown his way it has been for an entire year now 365 days of this one thought as a streaming power source of warmth and giggles,giving in to the difficulties and giving up on that possibility now would not only be wrong and against his principles it would state that it was just in his head at a time of war and nothing is really there which thankfully is not the case and of course he realized it would prove him unworthy which would be true.

He soon fell asleep feeling confused but better with renewed giddyness and a warm body to go with the image in his head, and the tappy nose that was still attempting to dehydrate itself.

sooooo hey! figured id try that out see if there is any potential writing skills? what do you think is there a spark of authorship by any chance?besides the obvious grammar mistakes that is, more shall be added later! my slight man fluey head needs a nap since they are hogging the covers!

also Ive been watching we bought a zoo and there are only 2 things i remember from it other than the fact that I have found the child that will be used in my project! something about 20 seconds of courage and the other was " If you love me let me know" I like it but I will ramble on about it another day.

So the rest of the day went something like this ZZZzzzzzZZZZzzzzZZZzzzzz between chasing puppies that do not listen and charge to the kitchen any chance they get dont think I've spent so much time in bed for a long while, consumed a liter of orange & carrot sugar free juice that for some reason has with apple written at the bottom of the box guess that is why it tastes nice, I went to the therapist who keeps confirming by the day that she is coocoo , apparently according to her I have a personality disorder but it is not something that is an actual disorder it is a malfunction in my defense mechanism but defense mechanisms are part of personality so they do not call it a defense mechanism disorder but an unknown personality disorder that I will be wasting my time pretending to work on because it does not exist but I lack a good alternative choice at the moment, see the way I see it is my defense mechanism is so awesome at keeping people out which is what is known as functional possibly advanced! with a somewhat not too shabby filtering system that allows certain people to pass certain security barriers , perhaps I am ignorant and stupid but in the current state of the world today is this not a good thing to have? I mean yes let friends in and people you consider family but that should cover it just about .

anyway I am completely unsure what is happening with anything anymore and it is bedtime! or nap time, or snuggle with Sophie time since there is a chance she may be going to a new home tomorrow or Friday.

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