Monday, 7 April 2014


I have so much on mind that I do not even know how to put my thoughts in to writing , mind you I have been trying since Saturday ,so I am just going to write about a couple of things maybe

E is for entitlement , over the last few weeks I've realized that our governments truly seem to lack any aspect of humanity, it is all a game to them, when we talk about death tolls, or sick people tolls, or number of people on disability allowance, or unemployment/job seeker allowance, it is all really just numbers to them. It seems to me that numbers of people for this that or the other for governments is just the same as the number of people you kill whilst playing Plague or Call of duty , a fictional number with no real consequence, rather than each number actually being a human being that counts.
A human being that is entitled to a roof over their head, entitled to clean fresh water, to food, to medical care, to freedom of choice, to safety , are these not all basic entitlements?

I guess I can understand where governments get the power from though, I mean it is lying around and people are too afraid or at times not smart enough to do anything with it , so governments are lead to believe that heyyy lets make sheep out of the people they won't know the difference, the sad thing is it is a bit true , why are people too afraid to stand up and say hey this is wrong, I pay taxes , I work I am entitled to this and that you don't get to take it ? a politician is no better than a business owner or an employee in my opinion .

Perhaps it would be better to not really go in to politics and may be talk about energy ? emptiness?
I have a better idea , E is really for Everything is going to be ok :) because it will be.

Saturday, 5 April 2014


I could not decide on what to write about , as we can see decisiveness  is not one of my strengths....

D is for dragons as we have established before, especially with Game of thrones starting again in a couple of days it would seem fit to talk about the magnificent creatures, however we will not.

Truth is I am already writing the real D posts alas it is not for public eyes, as I am too lazy to write 2 posts I found a not so good recording of a past acquaintance and myself doing a duet, the quality is bad and my singing is worse ! my apologies if it is not to your liking and yes it is a Disney song ! hah !

Thursday, 3 April 2014


So many things that start with C that I would like to write about , or eat if truth be told ! , Cake and Chocolate and even Cauliflower , but one shall resist such evil temptations . I will not speak of courage today or challenges or coincidence or even champions, though I think you will find that you are likely to relate to what I have to say today .

Over the last couple of days I have been skimming through previous posts of mine, I have been reflecting over the last few years of my life and thinking " What could I have done differently ? " the answer to that is nothing because despite the difficulties I currently face, all the challenges helped turn me in to the person I am today , and without them I would not have my beloved partner. I barely recognize the person that wrote blogs from a couple of years ago, today's C word as you may have guessed is Change.

Now despite the fact that this person today seems rather alien to the person who wrote previous blogs , we are still essentially one in the same , life broke me and put me back together , it took away many things and presented me with better things, it emotionally crippled me and is currently reviving and softening up the man of stone I somewhat turned in to . My life has completely changed , for the better I would think though it is not without its challenges, however certain changes take their toll on a person.

I used to be a more chilled person, I was much funnier and also much angrier, I cared a lot about everything, I was optimistic and hopeful and truly believed in the best. Now I feel like I am completely different , not as funny or as silly though perhaps I am simply growing ? who knows.... I do very little that I regret nowadays and am very comfortable making decisions, people that I once admired taught me that what I saw in them was purely in my head and that is a lesson I will not forget anytime soon ( as you do when someone breaks your faith ) I was a little sad that I am not the nice sweet fun person I used to be then I read an answer I wrote a year or 2 ago

"What kind of person attracts you.

In Theory  I believe that I am attracted to smart women who are kind, witty, funny,strong of heart and strong of mind, women that stand their own ground and don't take shit from anyone , women that can tell the difference between a male and a man , old fashioned yet modern if that makes sense , someone that doesn't mind change or challenge , but most importantly someone that is just normal and down to earth that although hopefully honest and loyal has flaws that may talk too much and whine and be at times un realistic , that likes to potentially come up with crazy ideas or even new colours , a real woman a human being , that is the person i am attracted too. "

Now this may seem a bit insignificant to you , but to me I have learnt that the person who wrote that , didn't crumble away and die , no that person evolved , I found myself reading that and thinking hang on a second .... I was describing my current partner before I even met her , the old me has evolved in to someone that not only knows what they want but finds it , works for it and gets it, yes luck has much to do with this particular scenario , and I am beyond grateful to have her to share the rest of my days with, but truly I was astonished as to how accurate that was. Also I realized that though I went through hell, I was in both a physical and emotional war, I lost my family, I lost the person who I once aspired to be, I was shattered I was broken and to an extent I still am, I changed tremendously however my core  , my beliefs they remain unaltered .

I guess though my point has not been clear it is that change happens, every single day we change and one day you will wake up and think good lord I barely recognize myself , but if you look deeper you will see that you are the same just better ( in most cases anyway , if you are not a better person go back and bloody start over ! we have enough idiots in the world) change is not a bad thing , it get's us through things and usually makes us stronger.

Change is scary as hell,  it is terrifying I for one admit to that , I know despite the tremendous changes that happened in my life that this is not the last of it, though I look forward to certain changes coming my way because ive bloody worked hard to make these particular changes to my life ( and living location). Do not fear change it will happen regardless of if you want it to or not,face it with courage and  perhaps if you give it a hand and learn from it, it won't be as terrifying and the ride will be smoother than you think ?

remember my friends, life can change you , it can change your face , it can change the way you live everything can be changed, but only you can change your heart :)

Wednesday, 2 April 2014

Beauty and the Beast

So this is a partial re-post because I like this post or what it was , and the post from yesterday simply sucked, however it has been brought to my attention that A=one , which is logical if you think about it , so I figured today's post will include aspects of the one , I am sure you know exactly what I mean.
It is also super long so my apologies ! and for some it may trigger a gag emotion especially those that do not know me to be a sappy emotional person so my apologies again ! I will try to split it up and make some sort of point at some point . 

Now there is no reason to deny that this post is most likely a cliche  however in a world full of darkness it is my duty to try and remind anyone and everyone that the light is within us and it can be seen anywhere.......I am the beast and I shall now ramble on about Beauty from my own perspective :)

When you look in to a woman's eyes and see her lips slowly curl in to a smile that for a moment makes your heart stop beating and you are lost in the moment somewhere within the fabrics of space and time, and you find yourself mesmerized, whilst at the same time you realistically know that those may not be most beautiful eyes you have ever seen nor the prettiest smile out there but you still see the universe and its contents when you look at her, you feel just a little bit more at peace with the world at her presence, and you simply feel at home knowing that she exists in your life, even when you just think of her she triggers something within you you may have thought long dead. When you want to tell her what you see in her but literally fail as there is no vocabulary existent in any language to describe even a fraction of the beauty you see, and so decide to express it in acts rather than words and find it is not humanly possible to fathom the emotions in human terms to manage to find away to make them even slightly evident to the naked eye/heart/ears ( feel free to pick which sense you would use to perceive the emotion).

 When you know that you would and literally start walking through hell for the mere possibility of a chance to make that smile reoccur on her face, to hear that innocent or maybe slightly smirky giggle, when you are enchanted by her voice, not because it sounds a particular way , but you somehow can feel the beauty resonate in it ...... then my friend( or acquaintance i wont get technical ) you should know that you have found not somebody beautiful but someone  who is the essence of beauty, and there is a very large chance that you may very well be in love with this Beautiful person that you can see the wonders of the world in.

Such people are so rare and so far in between in someone's life if you are blessed, you will meet them when you need it the most,and you will know that you will fight the heavens and earth to keep them, because they are not only beautiful and one of the main sources of beautiful things/emotions/art/music/FOOD!....... They have the unique ability to wipe the fogginess  of your eyes and allow you to see every little unappreciated beautiful thing in existence, like how that person at the store says have a nice day to you in particular because they mean it not because it is protocol, the smell of freshly baked cookies sneaking out of the oven, your friend  reminding you that although you are a failure you are still an air guitar legend to at least someone,when any baby or child smiles at you or a stranger dog walks up to you wagging its tail , the first time it snows that year, light sneaking down on you from under a big tree whilst the cool breeze brushes through your hair, the beach water trying to climb just a lil bit higher up your leg as you stand there admiring the movement of the water.

Always the little things that can show us the true meaning of beauty  inspire us and show us how blessed we really are.

I know that all sounds sappy and stuff, but in my defense it was written with my beloved partner in mind, so truly what did you expect? :) here is the thing though sappyness aside , Beauty has little to do with facial features, body size, skin/eye/hair colours . It is in my professional and unprofessional opinion that beauty is from within , your attitude towards things, kindness, open heartedness ( i don't think that is a word but it is now!) small things within your own person that pretty much radiate the beauty out of you ,reflecting even on your outer appearance. You will meet people, strangers in fact that will stun you with their beauty in a way that will truly shock you, again I speak not of looks , if you meet people like that ( they are quite rare) do not let them out of your life and befriend them!

Oh and when you find that lil bit of beauty in your day take it with you and share it,  if you are as lucky and fortunate as I have found myself you will also fall for one and if you are even luckier! she/he will fall for you too :)to be safe though  install a trap to keep them in your life forever Wiley coyote can be an inspiration in such cases.

everything has beauty within it not just people, so don't forget to keep  your eyes open.

If you are reading this and truly get it,  then I take pride in telling you that YOU are beautiful and I feel privileged to know you

oh btw B is also for brownies that I need to learn to make since I foolishly thought they were just chocolate cake without frosting...

Tuesday, 1 April 2014


April is here already ! I had completely forgotten about the challenge until a couple of weeks ago , though I've been trying to get myself back in to the habit of blogging for the last few months I did not muster up the mental energy to do it as you can see.

So I've been as always searching for the perfect word for today and of course I can either not find  a suitable word or there are too many words and I can not choose the perfect one, then it dawned on me that since I am easing my brain back in to this blogging business why not take it easy ?

A is not just a letter it is the first letter, it is the first one we use when alphabetically making a list , it is the first letter of the alphabet as I am sure you have noticed at a very early age, it is pretty much the first letter in many languages even those without Latin origins . I have realized that to me it somehow represents beginnings , or new beginnings to be accurate . So hopefully the aim is in light of this recent change in my life and the beginning it brings with it , I will attempt to make this entire month positive !

A is for an awesome april full of amazing things to come, it is also for many things such as
me being Astonished at how different life was , is and will be in the space of one year,I am rather amazed with the wonderful people I currently have in my life , and how much I have changed , but that is a conversation for another day .

Don't forget to play a prank on someone today !