Within the last 50 hours I have managed to sleep a total of 3 hours on and off, why? well about a month or 2 ago i was having trouble staying asleep and falling asleep before 2 am or so and so I was started on a medication aimed to help me sleep with the promise of hopefully when it is time to come of it i can sleep without it or as i understood resume to my previous screwed up sleep schedule.
However what I was not informed of was that if I were to stop taking it I will not be able to sleep which due to recent sessions is making me have serious doubts but alas for now I am keeping my word ( yes I know there has been a lot of whining lately but hey it is my blog i can whine and you would be whining too if you were isolated from communicating! this does not count as communicating merely documenting and letting steam out) , and so I am sleepless and hating it after all it is difficult enough to pass the time as it is so increasing the time to be passed certainly is not a thumbs up. and i refuse to go back on sleeping pills.
Besides who in their right mind would isolate someone they are trying to treat from severe ptsd!! is it just me that that doesn't make sense to or ?
So since I am not convinced with this whole thing I have decided their are priorities to me so there is a certain one or two that will be checked on regularly because frankly I do not want them to get the impression that I was not serious or changed my mind or walking away or any shyte like that, not a risk I am willing to take so to speak.
Day one is over and I have not spoken to anyone, did a bit of research for my project, since i have more time on my hands i may start on it tomorrow assuming i have the patience to sit and do the work or maybe i will find something to procrastinate with.
Not much to do other than read for pleasure read for my dissertation and read for my project, since playing call of duty although amusing to whomever is listening to me shout at the screen like a moron is proving to be a failure, the bastard experienced gamers keep shooting me! which is why i will hopefully get my new games within the next couple of days, mind you i am tired of looking at screens, I am dying to work but that involves people so no work for another 29 days.
Did i mention it is getting hot? it is getting bloody hot me and heat aren't friends yes that contradicts certain plans in motion but that bridge will be crossed when the time comes, for now the heat and the diet are adding to the challenge , thankfully the asset of being mule-ishly( is that even spelled right?) stubborn and the conviction of my rightness which will be proved should aid somewhat.
The plan is to possibly right about each day for documentation and boredom control, also not many of my friends read this , don't think people will worry that i suddenly dropped of the grid but i do hope that nobody thinks i am ignoring them if they try to contact me and i do not respond, i know it is not a nice feeling to think you are ignored so i apologize in advance if i make anybody feel that way.
time to attempt sleeping, Adiou!
i tried to change the layout however i could not figure out how to make the post background black like it was