Friday, 20 April 2012


Yes this is not a particularly easy letter to ramble with however I woke up rather annoyed today not because of life because of a little tiny vengeful creature and so I am going to take my revenge on all of its family within the vicinity of where i live! by God I will! the creature is obviously a fly or flies in this case, in fact I  have reason to believe they may be super flies you see I live on the 6th floor and I have not seen a fly waiting for the elevator and ascending or departing from the elevator at any point ( there is a possibility that it may have happened whilst i was not looking but i Refuse to acknowledge that right now) and let us be honest 6 stories with those lil wings would be tiring if they did that and they were not super flys they would not have the energy to annoy me.

Mind you the one from this morning was quite lethargic as far as flys go , so since they have taken it upon themselves to break up my sleep every single day every single morning every single nap I will take it upon myself to destroy each one of the, I mean why would a tiny creature try to annoy a giant like me ( i'm not really a giant but in comparison) surely it has a death wish or is it a fly's idea of raging war against humanity? we shall annoy them in to oblivion one human at a time! we shall push them to accidentally lose balance whilst in the balcony trying to kill us! if i were a tiny creature with wings I would indeed cause chaos and havoc most likely but not come face to face with my eminent death or in this case face to is a ridiculous notion i am aware of that but let us embark on the ruins of our childhood imagination ( now known as an adult imagination) imagine yourself all tiny and fairy like but of course you lack magic id say fly like but im sure that would not be appealing , imagine flies were the predominant race and they were huge would you  go pester them? i mean ok you might try to chip a wing to see if it results in them flying in circles ok ok ok fine the fly's are right! i shall not take my revenge upon them unless it is more than one at a time!

all joking aside though Revenge is bad it does not bring back what you lost be that a human or a stapler it does not make you feel better this is according to guy mode anyway i am unaware if it is different with girl mode, Revenge should be left to karma or divine plotting and is not something that should be maintained by  human beings it can get messy so bottom line revenge is bad!

And my initial R word that I was going to ramble on about before I woke up all annoyed because of a fly, since I do not wish to make this any longer than it already it I will tell you a couple of my rituals.... since i was a child during the spring and the summer when insects find it is time to fall in love and produce millions of copies of themselves to me it becomes hunting season , each night before bed i grab a pillow or a newspaper close the room door and start hunting any mosquito's visible to my naked eye ( surely i'm not going to dress my eyes before bed!what kind of monster do you think i am) i then proceed with killing each one i find even if it takes hours before i go to bed see the noise of them flying within the range of my ear irritates the hell out of me if they just land on me whilst i'm asleep fill up on blood and leave silently i wouldn't bother but nooooo they have to make their presence known!

another ritual which usually annoys my grandmother unless she has missed me is brushing teeth, when i brush my teeth (  surely i mentioned this before right?) I can not stand still in front of the sink for 4 minutes or so like a normal human being, instead i walk around the house brushing my teeth which she finds amusing because i will stand in front of her face to face for about 15 seconds during my mobile teeth brushing session.... so those were a couple of my Rituals do you have any weird rituals ? do share :)

1 comment:

  1. Rituals? Hmmm. Don't think so. I'm trying to visit all the A-Z Challenge Blogs this month. My alphabet is at


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