Monday, 9 April 2012

I is for introduction to I

I is for a combination of intelligence slight insecurities( i refuse to admit to anything more than slight!)ingenious , irritating,insane, infatuated, invisible, invincible , inadequate, irreplaceable, interesting I !

So I is for me being Inspired to be egotistical no no not really egotistical , you see when the lovely miss Lou Lou commented on one of my posts earlier it made me realize or well gave me the sense that despite her being someone that is very dear to my heart ( for no one reason she has been since i met her i blame it on her amazing vibe) that she does not know me as well as i thought she did which means many of my friends probably soooo for I , I am going to allow you all to get to know me a lil bit an Introduction to I if you will.....

I am Anthony I am bad at speaking about myself and I hate overusing the word "I" which I realize which will unfortunately occur a lot during this blog, it would be better if you would ask questions but perhaps that would defy the purpose of " I", was born in London a few years ago to an Arab family with European origins that they dismiss and unfortunately the odd one out of the family,  raised in Manchester then forced to go back to Libya which caused a culture clash in my mind as parents wanted something and my brain can not process anything illogical , lets see I was subjected to plenty of emotional and physical abuse from them which is why i loved school, i love reading, animals, cooking( which i am not half bad at just for your information!) i have a thing for underdogs i feel it is my duty to help if i come across anyone at all that needs help does that make me the nice guy next door kind of person? i don't know, I am considered slightly weird or abnormal maybe one of the reasons for that is because i try to make logical sense of many things.

My way of getting to know people or choosing the people to include in my life begins with sensing the vibe that i get from them that is how initially i will feel or decide that yes this is a person i want to get to know or not, sorry if that sounds crazy but it happens and there isn't another way in my head to explain it better than that. I am honest to the point of it being a flaw, and very proud, very very muleish (stubborn) but usually i mean well because rather often i will go out of my way to help someone else in fact I've done the adult version of giving away your lunch/lunch money and staying hungry for someone because they need it more rather often. my heart is at my sleeve my emotion is at the tip of my tongue because I've learnt life is too short so i don't like keeping things in or to myself for too long just in case.

slightly competitive, occasionally moody, very very patient but not patient at the same time if that makes sense, i love drawing but i'm shit at it unless effort is sufficiently being invested and time, reading is one of my favorite things to do but i do not learn through reading the hands on or acoustic approach is easier for me , what people see in the mirror and what i see when i look at them are somewhat different i try to see people as a whole and to be honest i have to admit that i am surrounded by beautiful amazing people this includes people that are hurting me that can easily be put aside and i still see them as beautiful people.

I love Disney this may be slightly embarrassing but i still cry every time i see dumbo or Bambi ( those are the only times i ever cry!) and im a big kid a real softy in heart despite my macho appearance attempts.I am a chocaholic and proud!

erm lets see what else, i believe i am capable of making a difference at least in one person's life but still trying to figure out how, i do not easily admit defeat or being hurt or broken and tend to ignore it till the pain is unbearable where i will rant about how its unfair and shit then go back to ignoring it the very next day and resuming a life trying to be happy chasing after dreams, yes a dreamer is me! I  am fair and always to try to work on my self without changing the imperfections that shape my personality, if i love someone i mean it and i love deeply which is probably bad but there is know other way of doing it for me, intelligent women especially gingers are my weakness as are lil fury things that can not be squished accidentally in one's hand.

I am a family man and would protect my family with my life, my friends and my loved ones are my family, i do not  now how to do something half arsedly or half way its either 100% or not unless it is something for myself ( self value is something i am working on), very hot headed passionate and argumentative but will admit if i'm wrong and apologize, I'm the guy that will walk you home to make sure you arrive safe despite twisting my ankle or having a headache from hell, I'm the guy that will listen to you repeat the same mistakes with the same kind of guys or girls and give you a hug even if i strongly disagree with your choices, I'm the guy that makes my students try to feel at home in a foreign country( i work with international students) and the guy that will try anything that needs to be done to make something happen even if it is not within my limits or reach.

I am the nice guy that girls look over , the best friend, the brother , the cool uncle , the guy that will get your kid an Easter egg or those new soccer shoes they've been pining about because the father can't  be arsed, the guy that things every little girl is a princess and every real woman is a queen that should be treated as such, I fight for animal rights, gay rights, basic human rights, minorities,underdogs,misunderstood people , anyone that lost their voice during some point in time, I am the guy that will cook you dinner and insist on rubbing your back when you get home from work, the guy that will randomly send you flowers or leave you notes to  not just show you how much i care but make you feel it, the guy that will try what  i hate just to make you happy.

I am a proud believer in God and I am a Muslim, I am different but strong , caring but not naive,smart but not insensitive ,I am a gentleman, ,I am very silly, spontaneous at times, crazyish (in a non medical more fun way) hell if it wasn't for my mediocre looks i'm pretty near perfect! ( did i forget to mention egotistical at times?)I can be a bit annoying some women would say scary actually too but extremely genuine .I know what I want maybe not how to get it but that's ok life is a journey that I wish to take my time through....

that is all i can think of and it is more than enough but feel free to ask whatever e
Sooooooo introduce me to yourself?

oh and i LOVE! arguing if i have not mentioned it already if i have well this is for confirmation on how much i love arguing and debating


  1. Ya know Tony, I knew you were this amazing the very first time I met you. You, yourself give off an awesome vibe. I am proud to call you friend and we actually have a LOT in common. We're the same kind of people, you and I...Kindred souls.... :-) Wanna fight about it? LOL!

  2. So I am suppose to introduce myself.. so hi my name is Marie.. I am not a chocoholic.. I am kind of crazy in a good crazy sort of way. I tend not to do things the conventional sort of way. Usually the exact opposite of conventional. I strive to be positively positive every day. I know things I have no way of knowing and feel things I have no way of feeling.. an odd one to say the least.
    Okay done.. your welcome .. I love you!!!!!

  3. great Curvaceous one you did not introduce yourself, get to it!

  4. I suddenly know you a whole lot better, and i am so very lucky and honored to have you as a friend, ty Tony, for being who you are!.

    1. ok I may have forgotten to mention that I have bossy tendencies at time, so Josephine! I said introduce yourself get to it :D

  5. ok 'I' took some time for me to feel comfortable enough to even tell anyone this, but I think you already know. I, at times, wear my heart on my sleeve. I love animals and the underdog, and will fight for them. I do my very best not to judge anyone, because I do not wish to be judged for my mistakes, and there are plenty! I always feel no matter how bad a person treats me or others that somewhere deep down that person has good in them, which has led me to make some very unwise choices as far as relationships go. Regardless, I will hang on with all my might to make a go at these relationships because I am a very loyal person. I love my children, friends and family with all my heart. Sometimes I will build a wall to keep others from seeing how truly easy it is to hurt me and making me cry will only fuel anger and mean remarks to cover that hurt I feel. I know deep inside I am a good person, but past experiences with relationships and my children also make me feel extreme guilt, which hurts me so deeply that I must throw the wall back up to protect myself. I have no confidence in myself in making wise choices in relationships anymore and it terrifies me to the point I will withdraw for a while and hide behind laughter and jokes just so no one suspects and then I can even become so obnoxious, that I am finally ignored for a bit. Although this hurts, it is also my not be seen. With all honesty, I truly want to be loved the way I know I am capable of loving another, but I have unrealistic expextations as well. Such as, I want someone that can read my mind and moods because I am so embarassed to say what it is I want because it makes me feel foolish, selfish and worse...that I will be laughed at and ignored. I have been all of those before. I want someone that truly knows the meaning of forever and of giving it their all. I just want, for once, to be happy and that does not mean always....I just want a forver, for good or bad.

    My entire being is wrapped around those I love and trying to make them happy and hoping with all my heart that they are. So, that is 'I'.


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