Saturday, 23 February 2013

Day 17

                                    Day 17. Your highs and lows of this past year.

Now by this last year are we talking about the last 50 odd days in 2013 or are we talking about since February 2012? 
I suppose the later includes the first sooo here goes !

It was a Fucking horrible year ! (that started June 2011 and continues ) , so Since February  I was mostly on a diet that was horrible and the worst part is that despite sticking to every word of it I didn't lose any weight but nay bother nay bother , we all know my ordeal with therapy at the time that continued till June physically and till December via Skype it did not work it caused damage that was not previously there and has also caused much consequences because although I tried to get over my pride to see if maybe I was wrong the therapist could not do the same and as it turns out I am right ! ( there is always a possibility that  am wrong of course ) but I am still right ! and I am fine I erm just do not have a healthy psychological or emotional environment at the moment and considering the history of this environment I am quite proud that I am not a psychopathic serial killer crazy person among many other things sooo ! yes horribleness , to add to the horribleness the one uncle that I really really liked even if he wasn't the best of characters he always treated me with respect and supported me no matter what , he always had something nice to say , yes he was a lazy selfish coward i will not lie , but with me he was nice and he taught me how to be a gentleman I could do with learning from his sense of style too to be honest , well he passed away and that broke my heart especially that he was just starting to get better and then I had a dream where in reality he was saying goodbye to me , ok i can't talk about this I am tearing up and we can't have that !!!

So the third day of his funeral our great aunt died and the third day of her funeral some other relative died too but it wasn't somebody i knew and the funeral was not held at our house , oh 2 weeks before my uncle died my aunt died , i use the term aunt very loosely because we were roughly the same age she lost the battle to cancer and she was also one of the sweetest purest people i ever knew and the only dentist i liked . Did I mention all this happened during Ramadan in the middle east with temperatures exceeding 40 degrees mostly and electricity gone 80% of the day ? which meant no air conditioning no fans and no water because water pumps required electricity in a house of very emotional people that did not always get a long ? in fact for the first week there was roughly 30-50 people there that stayed and hundreds in total that kept showing up . So emotional horrible summer but see I met my late aunt's mother and sisters and they are just amazing people I visited them regularly and checked if they needed anything because it felt right and they treated me as if i was one of their own in all honesty which was sweet especially since I was VERY out of place in that country .

So yes it was a loooong year of heart ache that started roughly just before February ( and continues ) and then more heart ache around June/July , I am unsure if getting used to falling asleep to the sound of bullets is considered good or bad but that happened too , there was much gore and blood and tanks and guns .I believe that there was someone something watching over me that entire year because I was inches away from death at every corner I went.

And my car got stolen which was heart breaking also i loved that car !! we got along so well , we had so much history we shared blood and oil .

Sooooo lets get to some highlights because I don't want to remember any more of the bad stuff , Jack & Sophie ! they gave me hope and they helped me , I loved those pups and once I settle down I want a rescue dog or to at least volunteer with them , I went home it was 15 months over due although my friends had moved I met some new friends , and got in touch with the ones still here apparently stories were told as i was absent because when i walked in to my volunteering place my boss's new assistant whom i did not know gave me the :-O OMG its you ! face ok she actually said it too and my boss pretty much cried whilst squeezing me ( i must be special !) that was soooo heart warming beyond belief after all that time being brainwashed in to thinking you are a freak and you are mentally ill (which i fought all the way ) to have someone just be glad that you are there and you are you and be grateful for that, was mind blowing , no to mention all my friends that were so supportive and kept me going throughout this time period i would be in a loony bin in Egypt somewhere if it weren't for you and i love you all dearly !
I met new people since I got home who actually worry and have threatened to beat me with a stick if i said i was ok when i wasn't which is lets say new ? they are as surprised as i am , actually they are more in shock about how easy i am to be around and how it feels like we have known each other forever which is also new but nice to know that somebody knows everything and just accepts you for who you are without making you feel like a monster , yes i am blessed with many friends like that but its always good to have friends near you too that can apparently beat you with a stick ..... 
I managed to get a job in a lab which is awesome ! no no not because I have easy access to chemicals my boss is awesome and I can make god knows what noooooo of course not ! ( insert pretendy evil laugh )because when I apply for my next job soon hopefully I can say yes  I do have lab experience , although finding a graduate job is difficult I am still going to try who knows it might mean moving to the states or Canada.
I joined an Archery society and discovered that I want a bow and plenty of arrows at my disposal ! I also joined a humanist society and was made part of its well actually come to think of i don't know what they made me but the union will communicate with me anyway ! and I offered to help with a love music hate homophobia event , although the captain of the LGBT society is a complete dick and I intend to fight with him at my earliest convenience as I dislike being lied to or my friends being lied to or anyone being lied to, really just to make himself look good that is a big no no ! and  I will not stand for it , you either lead properly or stand down let somebody else do the job .

Lets see what else happened , oh it snowed!!! how I loved the snow and! although I am against Easter merchandise being in stores since January , I can't help but think it is an opportunity for me to catch up on last Easter that I missed ! so I have been indulging in Easter eggs and bunnies , I think watching Les Miserables has to count as a highlight too as is the fact that i am learning how to sing the songs and my voice is not all that horrible which is a plus . 
I discovered that I am a kind man not just a generous one but also a kind man which well I did not think I was.

So Ladies and Ladies and Gent( I doubt there are many gents that read this  which would mean i should target my female audience and take advantage of that ! )

I am not going to make this blog any longer than it already is as to not bore you are anything , although we know the truth is I can't think of anything else , wait i can ! the A-Z challenge that was AWESOME! and its back again this year ! AND!!! Lady G has an awesome D day post I am very very very very patiently waiting for !

ok now i will actually shut up :p

Because you have been so patient and read all this you can make this with me .

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