Friday, 24 February 2012

So its Friday! meaning Thursday came and went on its own sweet way , I was woken up today by the repeated sound of the door bell ringing after ignoring it too many times i huffed and puffed and marched to the door to release my rage at whomever was foolish enough to , I open'd the door and this sweet short lady was at the door and started talking to me turns out she was the maid! i forgot what my maid looks like! how horrible of me, ok its not that i forgot what she looks like my memory was jogged ten seconds through the conversation i just forgot it was Friday and she was due today.

so for the last 24 hours my house has been female free ( apart from the maid ) and it has been AWESOME! no nagging no complaining no indecisiveness no interrogative phrases , now don't get me wrong i am not a woman hater or anything of the sort as anybody that knows me would know i love women ( certain women not all i'm no player) but you see my aunt has been living me since December, and for a month of that time my other aunt and grandmother had joined us which was fine other than the fact that there was an almost suffocating amount of estrogen to begin with which i then got used to, but after my grandmother and aunt left the focus was returned to me and that was well lets say BAD.

I am a patient person usually but I can only bite my tongue for a certain period of time and testing my patience is not really the best approach to prolong the time i am behaving and not speaking my mind, and me not speaking my mind puts me in a foul mood , and! my foul mood attracts more criticism from my aunt so it is a vicious cycle that i can only tolerate for so long!

my brain is still grasping the reality that there is nobody saying oh god those shoes are horrible i'm not walking in with you when you buy them, or anybody to ask stupid questions like are you going to miss me? do you love anyone but yourself? well the answer is no and yes plenty of people sadly you did not make the list, this is the precise reason why i keep disowning my family 1 person at a time you would think after each and every speech i have had to endure about how great she is and how smart she is that it would be easy to figure out.....

there is nobody to tell me that I am cold hearted unforgiving and self absorbed or to tell me how everything I do is wrong, I wonder how my brain will take this liberty so far it is loving every minute of it, hopefully now i can focus more on sorting myself out faster working more and getting my arse over to the states .

i heard 2 phrases within the last 24 hours that caught my attention the first was that we do not say " I love you " often enough which i agree with i should say it more often to the people that i care about but just to be safe i think i will only say it to the people I have said it to before so as to not scare anybody of you know.

The second phrase was Transformation does not happen in the future it starts in the present, I could not agree more why wait to change things when you can start changing them right away there are no guarantees you will even see the future so why not start now?
it was at least a decent motivation for me to continue working out lol.

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