Sunday, 12 February 2012

Give beyond reason, care beyond hope, love without limits...

Life is full of surprises some good some bad some neither, last night  i was surprised in a way that slightly restored my faith in humanity I have been granny sitting for 3 days yesterday when i took her out walking at a very slow pace with her cane on one side and her human cane (me) on the other side we got to the elevator almost 10 people were waiting they all refused to get in the elevator and insisted she go in the same thing when i was walking her home and a group of what looked like teenagers were ahead a fair couple of minutes ahead enough for them to go and the elevator to return for her, they would not get on till after she did.... quite admirable act as far as my experience with this country goes.

I am having a battle with myself by that i probably mean it is a fight between present me and future me, present me feels that life is too short ( which it is ) , how ever present me would counter again with life is too short and of course when a family member dies like my great aunt did last night may she rest in peace it serves as a reminder , to be honest i felt more sad for my grandmother than for my great aunts actual death because she was her last remaining sister and immediate relative from her generation alive so for as much as the news of the death and the responsibility of now sorting out travel arrangements and telling my gran the sad news did not move me as much as my heart went out to her since i told her, to the point where i bent down and clipped her toenails... i have a thing with feet... I Hate em! so with the events of the last 4 days and anticipating more i hereby declare myself a good good man, at least temporarily.

I do try to take in to consideration that life is too short in my day to day life, that helps with enjoying the moment and goes well with what my therapist has been trying to get me to do more which is to live in the here and now, had a conversation with my brother earlier he reminded me that one of her methods is to make me second guess/doubt myself so i shall be more aware of that in the future, at times like today though it makes me think how good is the session really if it consists mainly of arguing or me making her laugh ( not intentionally  ) surely I am not THAT! funny or am I hmmmmm, still find it amusing that she thinks my name is Arthur though despite my reminding her that it is Anthony Arthur seems to be sticking I must be fair rich and not as snobby as i should be like said king.

to make present me a bit happier and to make it easier for future me until tomorrow at least I have a date! for valentines oh yes I will be spreading the love to all those puppies and doggies and kitties possibly even horses at the Shelter, and I will avoid life's sarcastic surprise that was presented to me at the supermarket in the form of a 5 kilo jar of nutella !!..

remember Love without limits and do not be afraid to show it.... life is never as long as expected.

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