Saturday 18 February 2012

frustration

so many things to write about such a distracted mind i have.....

Captain, that seems to be my new nickname by my chauffeur and other random strangers that i meet for not more than 5 minutes at a time, see unless you are in a certain part of Cairo where they continuously call you sir every 30 seconds or if you are in a brand shop so to speak you usually get called bob or something like that, where they got the idea to call everybody Bob is beyond me considering they barely talk enough English and it is not one of the words that was used a lot during the time that Egypt was occupied by the British, the use of Captain is pretty much the same except Bob is used for commoners and Captain is used for someone who apparently looks more respectful or maybe intimidating? not sure but I am glad i am a Captain rather than a Bob, although I am sticking to the areas where they just call me sir or Mr. Parker it has a nicer ring to it, not that I can't lead people into well erm stuff! ( i'm tired of playing war ).

I am having trouble dieting kind of almost strictly following the dietitian's diet but not losing any weight in fact I've lost a kilo of muscle mass which i plan on regaining by the end of the week , i don't need to gain it back because my muscle mass is slightly above normal anyway but i prefer to have it like that maybe if i increase my muscle mass more it would help since more muscle helps burn fat faster, it is just frustrating since i strongly dislike the gyms here despite being a member of one they are just not nice, or it is me not adjusting to my environment that is slowing everything down, of course standing out in the crowd does not make my job any easier either.

so since i am not considered posh and my accent is soooo common i decided to join a french language course to brush up on my snobbery because that is the only thing missing in my life right now! i kid i kid learning the basics of a new language is probably going to be the only useful thing out of these 6 months, the debate between going home getting on with my life and completing the period i signed up for in this medical study is getting steamier, course i'm not  here just for this but I am very tempted to say screw it all what you are doing is not working perhaps because you are too arrogant to see that you are doing it wrong and just go home start over from scratch new everything.

I feel like i am getting less and less from the therapist each time i go sadly it is part of the research so i am obliged to go , and i called her a perv last time i saw her.i had good reasons and she laughed! in fact most of the session goes by with her laughing genuinely at what i say or staring me down which doesn't work, and of course the demanding of colorful pictures what is up with that? i don't like drawing with colors not because im bad at it which i am but because i dislike it, because i dislike it i am bad at it not vice versa is that too difficult to comprehend? apparently so.


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