Thursday, 16 April 2015


M is for memories

I have this almost superpower, the ability to suppress memories and feelings , i suppose it is a coping /survival mechanism that i developed over time. It is good because you know shit happens and sometimes it's nice forgetting, though good memories get sucked in to the whirlpool too sometimes.
I think some of my fondest memories have to be just being around my grandmother, she is such a sweet old lady when politics are not involved.She used to always sit in her bedroom  while i take a shower, just to hear me sing , because i am weird and i used to like singing in the shower once upon a time.
I remember my mother's strawberry and cream cakes, they were quite delicious.
i have many memories of my father being drunk and over sharing, im sure it was important information he shared though i honestly never retained it.

I am thankfully starting to retain or actively trying to keep hold of positive memories, like surprise birthday cakes and celebrations,like the fly dog being excited to see me , like the laughter and joy of friends, and long summer bbqs , all these lovely memories that i have started accumulating in the last 2 years they are just wonderful. I remember running around in yellow underwear as a child and pretending to be tarzan. The one good thing about blocking out the bad stuff is, i now have 2 years worth of good memories with Danni because I easily dismiss the bad, it shatters my heart naturally but it reminds that it was not all bad and it is something nice to keep i guess.

M is also for muchness! I think my muchness might be very slowly returning to me or making a  very hard attempt too anyway.

has your muchness disappeared before? do you have any fond memories you would like to share? :)

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