Wednesday, 8 April 2015


"forgiveness budded; not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night"

F is for fear, though it is also for future.They are 2 completely different things however funnily enough one dictates the other, with a little bit of determination vice versa applies too.

The thing about fear is a lot of it is in our heads, yes some fears are legit and biologically ingrained in us, some things are more instinct than fear so i won't talk about that.But what many don't acknowledge is that fear is a fluid thing, in my mind anyway. Your fears will change and they will often, just like you as a person change on a daily basis , your priorities change, your cares change ( only to an extent) and so your fears will too as you grow.Fear will either break you or just pinch you and teach you a lesson, in many cases it will not leave you unscathed unless you conquer it .Conquering it is a bit tricky, because it is almost like a double bluff,your fear is really a fear of something else in most cases, but you don't always realize this, and so you end up attempting to conquer something else, and the main fear may just resurface under a different disguise. Up until recently my biggest fear was losing my now ex, which has happened, I am devastated and it has broken something deep inside me, but I am still breathing, the world has not stopped turning, I am mostly functioning as normal, i even made someone laugh! So it made me think that maybe that was not the actual fear , the fear might be that I will never be good enough for anyone, which is irrational because I am actually a catch , on paper anyway, though it goes deeper in to my past so makes some sense and it is something I simply need to get over.
it may also be my fear or failure,though I calculate failure differently I still strongly dislike it. regardless I am working on both as we speak.or as I speak and you read :)

Anyway the point is ! if you let your fears hold you back it actually plays a part in dictating your future, it closes doors and paths that you will not even know existed if you are blinded by fear.

You are not your fears, you are stronger than you think and they will not crumple you, in fact you can squish them and you will get out of it alive :)

Be brave ,open new doors, enjoy the future.

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